Sorry, can't do it.
I understand that it's the world's game and there is a passion for "futbol" or "football" or whatever you want to call it. It unites nations, builds rivalries that go beyond teams into cities, countries, continents, etc.
Stateside, I understand that middle-upperclass parents use soccer as a babysitting tool for their unathletic kid because, you know, because everyone's a winner and we don't want to hurt the fragile psyche of the future middle-managment types of the world.
Don't even get me started on your acceptance of sister-kissing, also known as ties. Even Donovan McNabb doesn't get it.
But you come to America, more-ballyhooed than the Beatles, Rolling Stones and Spice Girls combined and make millions of dollars to put forth a below average effort as you "battle injuries" and adjust to the American-style of the game. Then you go back-and-forth between the LA Galaxy and whatever Euro-star team you're playing for out there, teasing a dwindling fandom in the U.S. of A. that actually cares about you.
And now it looks as if you're gonna stay there for good and apparently decide that you're going to stay there and resume your spot as one of the game's best international players.
Thanks David for making me waste 20 minutes writing this post calling you and your game out.