Garrett Olson, we hardly knew ye

Chicago White Sox at Baltimore Orioles
Remorseful Cubs fans can be found around the world hanging their heads in disbelief as Garrett Olson, who came to Chicago in the Felix Pie trade, was sent out to Seattle (with Ronny Cedeno) in exchange for Aaron Heilman.

Olson, who was perceived to be the Cubs' savior if you consider "savior" to be a key piece in a potential Jake Peavy trade, saw his North Side career end only days after it began.

In a press conference held in front of a mirror in Olson's mom's basement, the former top pitching prospect said he plans on making the Cubs pay for shipping him out.

"That's why they haven't won in 100 years, they run their best players out of town before they can shine," Olson stated as a tear came to his eye. "Gary Scott, Kevin Orie, Jayson Peterson, Corey Patterson all should have starred in Chicago. Instead they gave guys like Geovany Soto, Carlos Marmol and Ryan Theriot a shot."

"You can't win with 'em. You can't coach 'em. You need winners in Chicago. And I'm a winner."

Olson, and his career 10-13 record and 6.87 ERA hope to catch on at the back end of the Mariners rotation.