I H8 CR8N (and the reasons why)

St. Louis vs. SIU
The professional journalistic side of me puts this kind of story out for the newspaper. Fine and dandy. It details some of SIU-Creighton rivalry through the eyes of the Saluki head coach, senior leader, budding freshman star and former player now on the coaching staff.

Then there's the side of me that you guys know. The fan whose blood pressure goes up a little bit whenever the name Creighton is muttered.

That's right, the Missouri Valley Conference's best rivalry is renewed tonight at 7:05 when the Salukis travel to the Qwest Center in Omaha, Neb., to take on the Bluejays.

So get your game face on and get your wittiest heckles in order and prepare for a little lesson on why I H8 CR*N!

  1. Their coach's name is Dana, which happens to be the name of the SIU women's basketball coach. How can a group of young men take a man named Dana seriously ...
  2. ... especially when said coach takes a job at Arkansas, does the "ooo pig sooie" trick and turns around one day later to return to Creighton and everyone acts as if nothing happened ... LAME!
  3. Blue Jays. Two words. That's how it should be. That is how any level-headed person would expect the team name to read. Nope, not in Omaha. They bring it together to where it reads "Bluejays" which makes no sense.
  4. P'Allen is the name of one of their stars. Really? What kind of hallucinogen must you be on to name a child that. And then as a child, how do you not change your name to something respectable the minute you turn 18. Honestly, how can you take someone named "P'Allen" seriously?
  5. Kyle Korver. Screw you Korver and all those 3s you nailed over the years. Screw your brothers, who aren't nearly as talented as you are but received scholarships because of their last name. And screw you for being a one-dimensional fantasy basketball player who really isn't that good at that dimension at the next level.
  6. Creighton cheerleaders. Three words of advice for these young ladies: Get some sunlight. Had some drinks with a few of these fine young ladies a few years ago, but it was apparent to me that Omaha was a city deprived of sunlight and apparently tanning salons.
  7. The Bluejays are the among weakest mascots out there. There might be no less intimidating than a Bluejay in the Missouri Valley. Even Evansville's Purple Aces mascot is a pimp with a cane. You can't f*ck with an angry pimp with a cane ...
  8. ... as a continuation of that ... the Bird Cage? Of all the intimidating student sections, the least intimidating has to be one named after a Robin Williams movie.
  9. Poor spelling. You expect that from drunks like myself, but how do you misspell a stadium? The Qwest Center? Really? Learn to spell you silly goofs.
  10. They're Creighton, 'nuff said. Cubs fans don't like the Cardinals. Cardinals fans don't like the Cubs. Yankees fans don't like the Red Sox. Red Sox fans don't like the Yankees. Since the dawn of time there has been the Alpha male and his rival. And in the end, that's what it boils down to.