Future Headline: Obama To Slay The BCS Monster

Someone should tell President Barack Obama that eliminating the Bowl Championship Series should be his top priority as he steps into the Oval Office today.

Sure, the economy is in dire need of a PacMan Jones, rain-induced boost. And yes, we should make a courtesy call to our worldly neighbors just to catch up. And we should most definitely drape the White House with a banner that proudly says "U.S.A.: Under New Management" as soon as possible.

But why deal with all the hard stuff first. Take care of the BCS and you would be crowned an instant success by people like me.

All I am asking you is to come in on your white horse and slay the evil BCS Monster once and for all.

Or at least come with your cavalcade of black GMC Sierras and sign a bill with that mighty pen that denounces the system that has caused as more message board wars than Barry Lamar Bonds, SpyGate and Lindsay Lohan's relationship status combined.

Take advantage of that whole "executive power" deal and help benefit America, because, truth is, a playoff benefits everyone.

And if those bowl-pushing bullies try to intimidate you, tell them they can keep their individual bowls featuring the barely bowl eligible WAC and MAC teams as long as the top teams can battle for a true national championship.

Use the BCS bowls as playoff sites that pit conference champions against one-another. Because that makes sense, and unlike the thinking of the previous presidential regime, making sense is a good thing.

And if Central Michigan wants to play Nevada in the Big Dead Sidebar Bowl of Mediocrity, so be it.

We really could use the advertising money.