Alyssa Milano is off the market

Launch Party For Alyssa Milano's Clothing Line TOUCH
It looks as if the biggest offseason acquisition came off the field as actress, baseball enthusiast and blogger Alyssa Milano is getting married.

Yes, it is a sad day in American history.

Milano, known for her close relationships to athletes (including Carl Pavano) surprisingly will not be getting hitched to an athlete. Instead she will spend the rest of her natural life with agent David Bugliari. And no, he is NOT a sports agent. So cross off your dreams of sweeping her off her feet with some Jerry Maguire sh*t.

The starlet once said she didn't want to marry an athlete, instead letting it known that she wanted to settle down with a normal kind of guy. I'm not sure where Hollywood agent fits in the blue collar job listings.

As for this heartbroken young lad, my hopes she would settle for an up-and-coming sports writer are officially dashed.

I guess it's back to booze and drunk college girls for me until Lindsay Lohan realizes she wants to get up on top of that pogo stick again.

Charmed! Alyssa Milano engaged to agent David Bugliari, wedding date not set [The Examiner]