What do you mean Crazy Uncle Milton has to sign autographs?

Last we checked, Crazy Uncle Milton had just signed a three-year deal worth $30 million to play right field for the Chicago Cubs.

Our good ol' Crazy Uncle also gave us a glimpse into the near future and what the 2009 baseball season had in store for him. But today Milton gets his first public appearance with Cubs fans: The Cubs Convention.

Nothing like a bunch of nutty, nerdy Cubs fans lined up for a few hours to catch a glimpse of the newest Cub. Here is how it might go down tonight at the Hilton & Towers.

Fan: Hey Milton, can you sign this for my Grandma?
Milton: What do you mean "Get well soon, Granny?" What do I look like to you: a telegram? I'm not yo messenger service! I'll strangle ya! I'm Crazy Uncle Milton. I don't do get well cards. I'm not Hallmark. Get out of here.