Milton Bradley: Game Over

Milton Bradley's career as a Chicago Cub was doomed from the get-go.

Disaster lurked around every corner as Bradley never could live up to the lofty expectations Jim Hendry set forth for him.  Whether it was his ill-fated choice of the No. 21, the strikeout in his first AB in front of the home folks, the tirade on the South Side or any of the dozen or so other events that encapsulated Bradley's first -- and probably only -- season as a Cub.

Bradleygate erupted with his Daily Herald interview, then overflowed with the announcement that he had left the team after being suspended.  Suspending Bradley might have been Hendry's best decision all year.  The only way he could have done it better would have been had he put him on the disabled list to end the season, thus activating the buyout clause after year two.  It doesn't matter though, Bradley won't even see year two in a Cubs uniform.

And if you thought trading Crazy Uncle Milton was going to be hard before, trying to deal him now will be harder than an advanced calculus final exam.  If he has been bothered by the Chicago media, there is no way he would survive in New York, Boston or Philadelphia.  He already wore out his welcome in Los Angeles with the Dodgers.  That should eliminate all the big market teams, and his salary would be too much for a small market team to take on.

Oakland might take him back.  So might Texas.  Any way the Cubs could send him to the White Sox to see who will win a battle of nutjobs between he and Ozzie Guillen?  In any case, the Cubs are going to have to eat salary.

If anything, the Cubs should just cut ties with Bradley.  If I were Tom Ricketts, I'd foot the bill to Sam Zell.  He's known for reviving failed projects.

Videos that capture the Milton Bradley Era in Chicago after the jump.

Dear Milton Bradley, Do Shut Up

Let's cut to the gravy and check out what Crazy Uncle Milton said after being asked by the Daily Herald if he liked his stay in Chicago.

"Not really," he said. "It's just not a positive environment. I need a stable, healthy, enjoyable environment. There's too many people everywhere in your face with a microphone asking the same questions repeatedly. Everything is just bashing you. You got out there and you play harder than anybody on the field and never get credit for it. It's just negativity.

"And you understand why they haven't won in 100 years here, because it's negative. It's what it is."

"And you undersstand why they haven't won in 100 years here, because it's negative," says the player with a .257 batting average.  Milton Bradley needs to just shut up and play baseball

An idea how the Cubs should handle the situation after the jump.

Milton Bradley & Haterade

 "What are you putting in my Haterade?"

I'm getting sick and tired of defending Milton Bradley.  I do it partially because I feel he has yet to get a fair shake from Cubs fans and the media.  And for probably the first time in this blog's history, I'm linking the media and the fans as Bradley's united front.

Fans belly-ached about the loss of Mark DeRosa so much, the Chicago media hopped on it and made the deal its own crusade in which to fight against Bradley.  Yet, until recently, no blame has gone to the guy who recruited and signed the outfielder to a three-year deal.

It's not like Bradley put a gun to Hendry's head and forced him to sign.

Then there's this in today's Tribune online edition, via Paul Sullivan:

Milton Bradley said after Tuesday's loss he's "never" comfortable playing at Wrigley Field. 

"It's hard to be comfortable when you don't get a hit and get booed every time," he said. "When I go home and look in the mirror, I like what I see. My family is there I have people I can talk to who are very supportive, in spite of everything and all the adversity and the hatred you face on a daily basis. But I'll be alright. I always have."

Of course, Bradley's harshest critic, Steve Stone Dave Kaplan chimed in with his blog as well.

Milton, you don't face hatred. You face a fan base that is frustrated with your play this season and the fact that you were brought here to be a run producer and you have the grand total of  32 RBI's and are hitting just .259. Cubs fans want production and effort but when they see a guy who isn't producing he becomes a target of their frustrations.

Expecting Bradley, whose career high 77 RBIs last year, to be a run producer was a major mistake on Hendry's behalf.  And yes, he does face hatred Kap.  All day every day, he gets to hear from bleacher bums who whack it to posters on their ceilings of Mark DeRosa.  Their disenchantment with Bradley stems from Hendry's wild, unattainable expectations of a lefty-swinging run producer that history has shown is not a lefty-swinging run producer.

Kap should imagine going to work each day and having to hear from his friends and co-workers that he'll never be as good of a baseball writer/analyst as Buster Olney.  Or that he'll never have as good of a radio show as Jim Rome.  All day.  Every day.

That's what it has got to be like for Bradley.

Yes, Cubs fans, you have a right to voice your displeasure toward Crazy Uncle Milton for his .259 batting average, nine homers and 32 runs batted in.  But don't forget to channel some of that anger toward the guy who brought him here and mislabeled him in the first place.

Geez, from the looks of things, Jim Hendry has done nothing but mislabel his entire outfield.

Sounds like a fireable offense to me.  Go get 'em Tom Ricketts.

TBDS Late Night: The Buried Lead Part II Takes You To Bed

What Crazy Uncle Milton would do to Steve Rosenbloom if he had a chance.

If I were to come up with the concept of a sports blog today, rather than a little more than a year ago, I probably would call it "Bashing Milton Bradley" because that seems like the easiest thing to do in to do.

So easy, a Cards fan can do it. Easier than Sunday morning. Easier than getting into Upper Iowa University. Easier thank the sorority skank sitting at the end of the bar gulping down her eighth, ninth and tenth Long Island.

You can add Tribune blogger/glorified columnist/former sports radio host Steve Rosenbloom to the list of those who took the easy road to writing a column/blog. Lost in the outrage over Bradley's cynical comments was this tidbit that was oh-so-easy to ignore because it made too much sense.

"It's nice, but I don't think we're going to get any nicer articles written about us. But we're in first place, so you can't find a negative in that."

Translation from the eyes of someone not looking to use Crazy Uncle Milton as a jump-off: "First place is nice, but it's July 26, not September 26."

Also, take note the different lead ins between the columnist and the beat writer. You know, the guy who follows the team religiously.

Paul Sullivan, respected beat writer:

"A crowd of 41,528 seemed to enjoy the fact the Cubs overcame a lot of adversity to get to the top spot, though some, like (Milton) Bradley, downplayed the accomplishment."

Steve Rosenbloom, columnist:

"As usual with the guy whose motto must be “Surly to bed, surly to rise," Bradley offered some comments on sweeping Dusty Baker’s typically bad team and jumping over the dreaded Cardinals..."

Then he followed with:

"Here’s a tip, pal: Nice articles are easier to come by when you don’t sound like a self-pitying brat. Just saying."

It doesn't take a baseball connoisseur to figure out that Rosenbloom's column is slanted more than a weigh scale that has Bartolo Colon on one side and Alexei Ramirez on the other.

Then there was this quote, that instantly made me stand applaud Milton Bradley for something that had to do nothing with on the field stuff.

"Are we going to stop getting bashed by everybody, articles about our lineup and how it was better last year and all that garbage. Last year's team is sitting at home, just like everyone else. There's just one champion."

Translation: "There's no point of popping too much wood at the sight of being in first place in July when there's still two-and-a-half months of baseball to be played."

Look, if you want to be happy with being in first place in the middle of July, then you can join the "It's Gonna Happen" guy, the Can The Cubs Mend My Heart Guy and all those stupid attention-seeking whores in a circle jerk. Don't get me wrong, division titles are nice. Winning a baseball division title means you have to be better than five other teams for the majority of a 162 game schedule. Think about how hard that is, numbers wise.

Cubs fans, you should always remember that your beloved Mark DeRosa didn't lead the Cubs to a World Series. Heck, in two years, he couldn't help the team win one game. So, does that mean if Bradley is a part of a Cubs team that wins one measley playoff game (a feat that hasn't been reached on the North Side since 2003) -- does that make him a savior?

Probably not. It will likely take a walk-off home run in each and every game of the playoffs for Cubs fans to side with Bradley.

Until then, Crazy Uncle Milton has the right to go batshit crazy upside the head of Rosenbloom or any other dumb columnist looking to get off easy on a column.

Whipping Boys Lead Cubs Back Into First Place

Kevin Gregg, my bad. Most of the season, you've been among the most frustrating player I've ever witnessed as a Cubs fan. You wear goofy goggles and your throwing motion has been compared to one of a batting practice pitcher.

But even I, your biggest detractor, can't help but give you a tip of the cap for what you have done.

Believe it or not, Gregg has gotten better as the season has moved on. In April, his batting average against was .282 and that has dropped to .169 in July. On May 1, his earned run average was a robust 5.91. Now it sits at 3.42. Over the last month, Gregg has a 1.84 ERA, a 0.95 WHIP while racking up 10 saves and punching out 14 hitters in 15 innings pitched.

Not bad for a guy that nobody wanted.

He'll never be confused for Mariano Rivera, but if he continues to get three outs without blowing the lead in the ninth, the Cubs all of a sudden have one of the NL's best bullpens with Carlos Marmol and Angel Guzman turning nine-inning games into six-inning games.

Then there's Milton Bradley. The only person taking more grief than me for supporting Crazy Uncle Milton is Milton himself. It's hard enough when opposing fans are riding you hard, but Bradley's in a no-win situation with Chicago fans. But slowly and surely, he's starting to get work done.

Over the last month, his batting average has been a pedestrian .258, but his on-base percentage has been an outstanding .417 . He's drawn 18 walks in 19 July games to bump that OBP all the way up to a team-best .382. Two of the walks he drew today came into score, one of which came as he scored from first on Alfonso Soriano's double to left due in part to an excellent slide.

He might not be scorching the baseball, but if Bradley (who's hitting .307 in home games) can get on base at a 40-percent clip in front of Soriano in the six spot.

Speaking of Alfonso Soriano, it looks as if he really has taken a liking to being a middle-of-the-line-up thumper.

The former lead-off man came into today's action batting .392 in the six-hole and that will get a nice boost after a 2-for-4 day at the plate today. He's slugging .692 out of his new home in the order and if he keeps it up, he will clearly surpass the .560 slugging percentage he posted in his last year as a Washington National and first year as a Chicago Cub.

Finally, we end with Rich Harden, whose acquisition was much-ballyhooed last July. This year has been an up-and-down kind of thing for Harden. But in his last three starts, Harden has been flat out nasty.

• 6 IP 3 H 1 R 0 ER 7 K 0 BB (W @ WSH 7/16)
• 7 IP 4 H 1 R 1 ER 6 K 2 BB (ND @ PHI 7/21)
• 6 IP 1 H 1 R 1 ER 8 K 0 BB (W vs. CIN 7/26)

That's a 0.526 WHIP, 10.5 K/BB ratio and a 0.95 ERA in his last three starts.

Despite having each of their top three starters see DL time this year, missing its biggest offensive threat player for a majority of the year, the whining and crying of Mark DeRosa fanboys and jersey chasers ... the Chicago Cubs find themselves in first place.

Here's hoping it can stay that way.

Cubs 5 Reds 2 [ESPN]

Defending Milton Bradley

I'm pretty sure I might be Milton Bradley's only fan.

I might never understand my fellow Cubs fans. No, not the beer-swilling, babe-chasing Wrigleyville Chads. Instead, I'm having trouble finding a common ground with the baseball enthusiasts, especially when it comes to Milton Bradley.

There is no denying being disappointed with Bradley's performance this season. Cubs fans expected more than a .246 hitter after he signed a three-year $30 million deal coming off a season in which he led the American League in on-base percentage (.436) and OPS (.999). Bradley's struggles are amplified even more when compared to the numbers Bobby Abreu, Adam Dunn and Raul Ibanez are putting up this season.

There was a segment of Cubs fans that were giggly when Steve Stone created a monster (via Twitter) that said "Rumor is that tigers are interested in trading for milton bradley. Cubs should fly him in a private jet." and Bradley was not in Saturday's starting line-up.

Statistically, there is no doubt in my mind that the Cubs need an upgrade out of right field -- a position they have struggled to fill since Sammy Sosa walked out on the team in 2004. And a small sample size indicates Bradley is starting to come out of his season-long funk. His OBP has gone up every month, which suggests his eye at the plate is getting better.

But for a fanbase that has reamed players like Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez for the perception of not trying hard, how can said fanbase turn around and rip Bradley, who manager Lou Piniella claims part of his issues come from his passion to be perfect. When asked about his struggles in the media, Bradley doesn't blame anyone but himself. His fielding deficiencies, blamed no one but himself.

I was once told a good worker doesn't blame his tools. Bradley has had a billion opportunities to do so this year. But he hasn't. As a Cubs fan, I appreciate someone putting out a 100 percent effort despite their shortcomings. It would be easy for Crazy Uncle Milton to shut it down and collect what's remaining on his contract.

But that's not the kind of player he is, and Cubs fans should applaud that.

Crazy Uncle Milton Would Have Made Sure Judgement Day Came Soon For The Miz

It has been a long time since I cared about wrestling. A lot has changed since then. A black guy is the president of the U.S.A., the Bears have a Pro Bowl quarterback, I need two hands to count the number of girls I've kissed. Unfortunately, the Cubs have still yet to win a World Series.

Enter stage left Alfonso Soriano.

The Cubs' slugging left fielder attended Sunday night's World Wrestling Entertainment (used to be called World Wrestling Federation before the World Wildlife Fund got into the fray) at the Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Ill., and was greeted by someone named "The Miz." A character with that moniker sounds like some type of cross-dressing hooker you would find on the other side of the tracks.

Not that I would know anything about that. I digress.

Anyway, after a brief introduction The Miz went on a roasting session of the spectating Soriano, which rated only slightly higher than something a White Sox fan with an elementary education would spew.

Surely there was one Cub that would not stand for such a verbal thrashing, and thankfully for the WWE, he was not in attendance. And that would have been Milton Bradley.

Could you have imagined what would have happened had Crazy Uncle Milton been rolling with Fonzie at this event? Steel chairs and cookie sheets would have been a-flying, tables would have been smashed, baseball bats would have been shoved in unthinkable orafaces and then broken pieces of the bat would have been used to slash the Miz's throat in a fit of rage only seen by the likes of Major League umpires.

And all Vince McMahon would be able to do is watch helplessly and think "This isn't part of the script."

Report from WWE's Judgement Day 2009 [Wrestling-edge.com]

Crazy Uncle Milton Is An Early Candidate For Quote Of The Year

Milton Bradley strikes again. And this time, it's not even suspension worthy.

Down 2-1 in the 6th inning, Crazy Uncle Milton absolutely crushed a pitch into the stratosphere giving the Cubs a 3-2 lead en route to a 6-2 win against the San Diego Padres. After a slow start, Bradley is hitting a robust .186 with four homers and eight ribbies.

But don't worry Cubs fans, the ticking time bomb doesn't want to be bad anymore.

"I didn't come here to suck."

Bradley has been bad so far, and that is probably why folks have ridden him hard in the early part of the season.

So far, the nutty one has fought injury, unforgiving fans, being in Lou Piniella's doghouse and the big bad MLB powers that be. All that in a little more than one month.

At 18-14, the Cubs are in fourth place in the National League Central but are only 1.5 games out of first place without having played their best ball yet. That's the key. Through early May, the Northside Nine has weathered everything from injuries to inconsistencies and will have to continue to do so with Aramis Ramirez out for about two months with a dislocated shoulder. The patchwork Piniella must perform is mind-boggling.

But the Cubs will have a chance to be competitive as long as they aren't moved to the AL East and as long as Bradley can stay on the field, off the trainer's table and out of the MLB Disciplinary Office.

Cubs' Bradley turns jeers to cheers with homer in win [Chicago Tribune]

Milton Bradley Pegged With 2-Game Suspension, Derrek Lee Approves

You never forget your first time. Neither will Milton Bradley.

Bradley has made two plate appearances as a Chicago Cub at Wrigley Field, but his first got him just a tad bit of trouble.

The nutty outfielder struck out looking with the bases loaded in Friday's 7-4 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals. Bradley, who disagreed with the call, was tossed after bumping home plate umpire Larry Vanover and was then suspended for two games for his actions.

And what does an injured Milton Bradley do? Appeal the decision.

While he has the right to appeal the two game suspension, Crazy Uncle Milton probably should have just taken the punishment as his injured groin continues to heal. But he's got the support of his team and the Wrigley faithful (so far).

During the appeal, Bradley has decided to not comment to the media.

Good idea.

For another good idea, shout out to Derrek Lee. The Gold Glove first baseman has stepped up in full support of Bradley, which should probably help build morale in the clubhouse. Lee went through his own valleys in his first year as a Cub in 2004, so it is nice to see one of the team's most visible players stand up for the new guy.

"I like it. ... He said what he had to say and walked off. That's him. He's intense. It's a big situation, he wants to do well, and he got upset. It's OK. He didn't do anything malicious."

Bud Selig and Bob Watson respectfully disagree.

Crazy Uncle Milton Won't Be Inviting Larry Vanover For A Post Game Meal

(Explitive Deleted)

Weren't you just waiting for the first call to go against Milton Bradley?

I was.

Bradley stepped to the plate of a tied game with the bases loaded and one out. The $30 million man calmly took three straight balls out of the strike zone before taking two straight strikes to fill the count. Cardinals starter Adam Wainwright stepped off the mound for a moment before delivering a nasty curveball that appeared to dip low and inside.

Home plate umpire Larry Vanover disagreed, ringing up Bradley. Who all of a sudden forgot that it was only days ago he told the Chicago Sun-Times that he was a new man. He was cool, calm and collected ... until borderline call went against him. Then, he went nuts. So did the crowd.

Welcome to the Milton Bradley Era.

Actually, the Cubs' 7-4 loss to their arch rivals from St. Louis exposed several of the two-time defending NL Central Division champion's weaknesses.

The Cubs bullpen is bad and features Aaron Heilman and Luis Vizcaino ... guys that I wouldn't trust getting out Fat Albert let alone Albert Pujols. And unless manager Lou Piniella can successfully clone Carlos Marmol five-times over, it will be a mighty struggle for the Cubs' pen.

Kevin Gregg is the team's closer, and it's actually fitting. You can't spell Cubs without B(lown) S(ave).

The starting rotation is good, not great. Sean Marshall tossed a few good innings, but if he was the hold up and the reason why the Cubs didn't get Jake Peavy, then someone's head needs to be examined inside the Cubs front office. I'm pretty sure the 2007 NL Cy Young Award winner would not have allowed a two-run homer to the offensively-inept Chris Duncan.

Then there's Crazy Uncle Milton, who signed a three-year contract in the offseason. The Cubs chose Bradley over Adam Dunn, citing his athleticism and ability to play the outfield. Sure, Dunn will never be confused with an average defensive outfielder, but it's hard to play defense while laying on a trainer's table.

Some say the Cubs are cursed by a gypsy, a Billy goat, a black cat or a Bartman.

I say the Cubs are cursed by poor management, poor play and underachieving ballplayers.

Photo Credit: Chicago Tribune

Crazy Uncle Milton already got a boo-boo

The Milton Braldey watch has begun.

No, not the watch in which he, Ted Lilly and Carlos Zambrano are questioned in connection with the disappearance of a certain St. Louis Cardinals manager and first baseman.

The watch where Bradley proves to me that he can't handle being healthy for five minutes.

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

"Playing in his first game as a Cub on Thursday, right fielder Milton Bradley saw seven pitches, drew a first-inning walk and was replaced by a pinch runner because of ''mild tightness'' in his left quadriceps.

It was a precautionary move for Bradley, who told the field staff before the game that he felt the tightness in his leg and agreed to play long enough to get one at-bat."

Only the Cubs would sign a player who gets injured while drawing a walk.

So Bradley is hurt. In more breaking news:

• The sky is blue.
• Water is wet.
• My president is black.

Who's ready for the Micah Hoffpauir Era in right field to begin?

I wonder if the Cubs know Manny Ramirez is still on the market.

What do you mean Crazy Uncle Milton has to sign autographs?

Last we checked, Crazy Uncle Milton had just signed a three-year deal worth $30 million to play right field for the Chicago Cubs.

Our good ol' Crazy Uncle also gave us a glimpse into the near future and what the 2009 baseball season had in store for him. But today Milton gets his first public appearance with Cubs fans: The Cubs Convention.

Nothing like a bunch of nutty, nerdy Cubs fans lined up for a few hours to catch a glimpse of the newest Cub. Here is how it might go down tonight at the Hilton & Towers.

Fan: Hey Milton, can you sign this for my Grandma?
Milton: What do you mean "Get well soon, Granny?" What do I look like to you: a telegram? I'm not yo messenger service! I'll strangle ya! I'm Crazy Uncle Milton. I don't do get well cards. I'm not Hallmark. Get out of here.

Checking up on Crazy Uncle Milton

As the Cubs inch closer to officially signing a new right fielder, I thought it would be a proper time to check up on Crazy Uncle Milton himself. He's a special character who gave me a look inside his crystal (meth) ball to see his future. Here is a glimpse of how the first year will go down according to the crystal ball. Reader discretion is advised due to strong language.

JANUARY 2009: Crazy Uncle Milton signs a three-year deal worth approximately $30 million. When asked about if he will be able to play right field after a year of being a designated hitter, Milton responded.

"Yeah motherf*cker. I can play right field. You don't think I can play the outfield? You must be retarded. I'll f*cking kill you!"

MARCH 2009: Milton opens Spring Training on a tear. He is hitting everything in sight as he leads the team in batting average, on-base percentage, OPS in the first two weeks after camp breaks. However, Milton is seeing a lot of time as the designated hitter in Arizona ball. A reporter asks Milton if he is healthy enough to play the field.

"Hell yeah, I'm healthy! I'm breathing right. I wouldn't be breathing if I was healthy you dumb motherf*cker. I hate retards. Go Plaxico yo'self!"

APRIL 2009: After a conversation with Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker, Milton refuses to take the field on a cold April afternoon. That sparks this heated rant.

"It's cold, f*ck that. There's snow on the f*cking ground motherf*cker. You don't see brothas playing baseball in the snow. Hell, brothas don't like playing football in the snow. That's why we like the south. It ain't cold. This is bullsh*t, Lou!"

JULY 2009: As the weather heats up, so does Milton. After a slow start, he is now hitting .290 with 10 home runs as he leads the team in OBP. A reporter asks Milton if he can keep up his hot hitting. Of course, he goes ballistic in his response.

"Hell yeah I'm gonna keep it up (no homo). It's summer time. It's hot. I'm hot. My bat's hot. You think I wanna stop hitting the ball? You think I'm gonna stop hitting the ball? That's my job, see the ball and hit the ball f*ckin hard. That's it. And catch the ball when it's hit to me. That's what I do. I get paid to hit the damn ball. So pitch me the damn ball so I can take your head off with a batted ball. It'll f*cking kill you!"

AUGUST 2009: Milton's hot hitting has indeed continued through the summer. However, he has a rough game where he goes 0-for-3 with three strikeouts before hitting a double that started a Cubs come-from-behind rally. Color commentator Bob Brenly complements Milton's swing, which for some reason upsets him.

"That is some Brokeback Mountain sh*t, Bob. My swing is pretty? How the f*ck you gonna call a grown man's swing pretty. Does it got lipstick on? Does it have titties? Does it have one of those easy access skirts on? F*ck no! Gawddammitt Bob, I'll f*cking kill you!"

SEPTEMBER 2009: Milton leads the Cubs to a third-straight NL Central title. A celebration occurs.

"We gonna pop champagne like we won a championship game. F*ck them motherf*ckers that doubted us. They dead now! DEAD! Where's my champagne? Wait...this ain't Cristal? Where's my Cristal? Can a brotha get some Henney? Can I pop some Henney? D-Lee, why you drinkin' my Henney? I'll kill you motherf*cker!"

OCTOBER 2009: Milton and the Cubs have done the impossible in capturing the Cubs' first World Series title since 1908. He hits a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 12th inning off CC Sabathia, who started the game. A reporter asks Milton how it feels to be the hero. His response, classic.

"How do you think I feel you f*cking idiot? I'm rich. I'm paid. I'm 'bout to get laid and we won. Bitches gonna love me. We f*cking won. F*ck you guys who thought we couldn't win. You're all a bunch of f*cking homos. All of you. Did you think I wasn't gonna get the game winning hit? I'll slit your f*cking throat. We the mothaf*ckin champions!"

BREAKING: Cubs sign OF Milton Bradley

ESPN and FOX Sports' Ken Rosenthal are reporting that the Chicago Cubs and switch-hitting outfielder Milton Bradley have agreed on a deal. Bradley hit .321 for the Texas Rangers with 22 home runs and a league-best .436 on-base percentage last season.

Bradley, who will join his seventh team in the last five seasons, is expected to play right field and help balance the Cubs' predominantly right-handed hitting line-up.

And needless to say, he will provide a certain blogger with plenty of ammo for the next few seasons. I hope the readership of TBDS is ready for a wild ride.