Let's take a look at what's gonna happen in the future.
Sunday: The Pro Bowl. Because someone degenerate gambler is willing to pick the under.
Feb. 14: SIU-Creighton. SIU Arena. It's a different kind of love on Valentine's Day.
March 8: For starters, SIU does the unthinkable and wins the Missouri Valley Conference Tournament in St. Louis. In the nightcap, North Carolina beats Duke to end its regular season as Roy Williams still doesn't give a sh!t about North Carolina.
April 6: Milton Bradley collects three hits in his Cubs debut. Unfortunately, none of them come at the plate as a fight breaks out between Bradley and Carlos Zambrano before the season even starts. ... North Carolina defeats UConn in NCAA men's basketball title game. Tyler Hansbrough wins M.G.P. ... Most Grittiest Player.
April 16: Vinny Del Negro fired as Chicago Bulls head coach.
May 11: Rich Harden goes on the DL with shoulder discomfort.
June: The Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup, but no one knows as the ghost of "Dollar" Bill Wirtz keeps Stanley Cup games off Chicagoland television sets.
June 16: Ozzie Guillen goes on profanity-laced tirade after reading Jay Mariotti's blog.
July 1: Luis turns 23. Cubs acquire Jake Peavy and Brian Roberts in separate deals, depleting their minor league system in the process. Bulls sign free-agent power forward Carlos Boozer.
August: Kyle Orton named Bears starting quarterback. Celebrates with shots of Jack Daniels at Bourbonnais bar.
Sept. 6: Cubs swept by Mets in New York City. Bradley charged with animal cruelty after killing black cat with baseball bat as September swoon begins.
October: Orton leads the NFC in passing yards and touchdowns and garners a long-term deal. Celebrates with Patron shots in Wrigleyville.
Nov. 2: Weather pushes World Series Game 7 to November. Cubs win after Boston Red Sox franchise forced to forfeit mysteriously disappear as Bradley, Zambrano and Lilly whistle in the corner of the Wrigley Field dugout innocently.
December: Orton suffers career ending neck injury due to whiplash that came only after taking 100 shots of Jack in 100 minutes. Bears re-sign Rex Grossman.
- Monday, February 2, 2009
- Posted by The Ludameister at 12:00 PM