NOTICE: Jake Peavy isn't coming to the Cubs

Jake Peavy is not a Cub.

He is a San Diego Padre.

Chances are very high Peavy will be the Padres' opening day starter. He will wear No. 44 on his back with SD on his cap. OK?

I don't want you to dissect every move he makes and every word he says and twist it to the point where it sounds like a Peavy-to-Chicago deal is imminent.

It isn't.

So if you the Cub fan isn't happy with Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly, Harden and Nameless McFifthstarter manning the rotation, then, well, get prepared for a season of underachieving on the North Side.

Not that you're not accustomed to that anyhow.