Tell Me How My Power Rankings Taste

Your power rankings suck. Mine don't. That is the difference between you and I.

1. Shaquille O'Neal. The best analysis of the NBA Finals didn't come from ABC or ESPN, it came from Shaq via his Twitter page. Shaq > The "experts" that get paid for their analysis.

2. Twitter. The last four texts messages in my inbox are tweets from Chris Lowery and Missy Tiber. Guess what, folks, Twitter ain't goin' nowhere.

3. Defensive failures. Milton Bradley? Nah, more like Milton Badley. Am I right? As for Luis Castillo, your Little League coach called. He said use two hands.

4. Bashing bloggers. Someone needs to tell Tyler Hansbrough that I moved out of my parents basement. Then he should tell Raul Ibanez that he needs to slow his roll when attacking bloggers.

5. Gang signs. I think this sign means that the answer for question No. 3 is A. Not like D-Rose needs help on his SAT or anything.

6. Headlines. Wang banged around again ... or something like that.

7. Being single. Someone tell the suddenly-single Bar Refaeli that if she gets lonely, there is room in my bed just for her.

8. Debuts. Ooh, we've got a certified media critic on board. I'm overjoyed.

9. Revisionist history. Man, I almost forgot that Kobe went on vacation to Colorado once. Want proof? Here are the transcripts.

10. Postgame press conferences. Sooooooo much fun. Thanks, Mike Pinto.