Power Rankings: Shaken, Not Stirred

Reading Phil Rogers' power rankings ... or Phil Rogers in general ... makes me want to kick puppies. I guarantee you that reading this blog will make you feel better than that.

1. Michael Jackson. What can I say that has yet to been said about the King of Pop? He touched us all.

2. Point guards. Of the 60 picks in Thursday's NBA Draft, 19 were point guards. But none of them were Bryan Mullins.

3. Anniversaries. Two Fridays ago, we celebrated the day the Portland Trail Blazers passed on Michael Jordan for Sam Bowie. Last week, we celebrated The Sandberg Game. And as HJE put it, how many people have a game named after them. Still waiting for The Pujols Game. (Also, now waiting for a dick joke ... now.)

4. Bryan Mullins. The former Saluki star guard has earned his ranking despite not playing organized basketball since January. Never did I think a Saluki would get this much buzz, especially after a 13-18 year ... but what do I know?

5. Soccer. According to your Facebook status updates, you care about this game. Though, in my defense, I thought FIFA was a video game.

6. Mock Drafts. Thankfully, they're done for now. Everyone had one, even ESPN's Chad Ford, who hates them.

7. Twitter. Until the late-night tweets end, the micro-blogging social networking site will always have a home here.

8. Cry-baby Cubs fans. The tears that flowed after Mark DeRosa was traded to the Cardinals could have hydrated all of the thirsty kids in Africa. Never in my life has an ex-Cub been slurped so hard after leaving.

9. Shaq. Traded to the Cleveland LeBrons, the best big man of our generation is looking for a new nickname now that The Big Cactus no longer applies. How about The Big Second Fiddle?

10. Milton Bradley. If I didn't put him on here, he might think I'm trying to take him down.