Mocking The NBA Draft, Vol. 2.5

NCAA Final Four: Villanova Wildcats v North Carolina Tar Heels

Earlier, I mused over part one of the second installment of the "Mocking The NBA Draft" series, in which there were some changes in the lottery portion. Let's see what is in store for the NBA Playoff teams. This is where hilarity will ensue.

15. Detroit Pistons - Eric Maynor, Virginia Commonwealth. Toward the end of the year, the Pistons backcourt was showing its age. They were showing their AARP card as they attempted to go to the lane. Maynor would be the youthful ball-handler that could help bring Detroit's basketball team back to prosperity. As for its auto industry ... not so much.

16. Chicago Bulls - Wayne Ellington, North Carolina. I once said I was aroused by Ellington's form on his jump shot. I still am. Reason enough to draft the Tar Heel sharp-shooter.

17. Philadelphia 76ers - Patrick Mills, Saint Mary's. The Sixers desperately need an affordable option at the point guard spot with Andre Miller likely on his way out. Philly fans will not like this pick. Not because it's a bad pick, because Philly fans don't like anything except cheesesteak and Cole Hamels.

18. Minnesota Timberwolves - Jeff Teague, Wake Forest. One of these days, the Timbewolves will find a combo guard that will be able to run the point and fill the hoop. It could be Teague or it could be another punchline for a franchise whose best point guard looked like an extraterrestrial.

19. Atlanta Hawks - B.J. Mullens, Ohio State. The Hawks have taken many risks in the draft over the years. That is why Rajon Rondo, Chris Paul and Deron Williams are elsewhere right now. Expect the unexpected from Atlanta. Check that, expect the expected ... and that means a failure of a pick.

20. Utah Jazz - Tyler Hansbrough, North Carolina. Scrappy. Tough. Hard working. White. Yep, sounds like a Jerry Sloan pick right here. (Note: No need to change here, why waste valuable time?)

21. New Orleans Hornets - Terrance Williams, Louisville. An athletic specimen who should have been a star under Rick Pitino, could shine running alongside Chris Paul.

22. Dallas Mavericks - Chase Buddinger, Arizona. The Mavs need to add bench depth with an athletic guy who can score. Gerald Green was nice, but scoring in the dunk contest does not translate into game situations.

23. Sacramento Kings - Earl Clark, Louisville. Had Clark stayed all four years at The 'Ville, he would have been a lottery pick. Instead, his best lottery bet is if he goes to the gas station and picks some lotto numbers.

24. Portland Trail Blazers - Darren Collison, UCLA. The Blazers have wasted so much time drafting potential and if there is anything I know "potential" is shorthand for "potential to be combustable." It's time to draft someone runs offense, and not into jail.

25. Oklahoma City Thunder - Taj Gibson, Southern California. The Thunder need some frontcourt thumpers, and by drafting Thabeet early, drafting Gibson here ensures that OKC will have at least one person on the court that understands the concept of rebounding.

26. Chicago Bulls - James Johnson, Wake Forest. Apparently, he played along side Jeff Teague. says his draft comparable is Danny Granger. And who doesn't want Danny Granger on their team?

27. Memphis Grizzlies - Dante Cunningham, Villanova. The Grizz need size up front. Drafting an actual Grizzly bear would be a great idea at this spot. However, I do believe the bear would have to go to one year of school before becoming draft eligible. Hey bear, John Calipari is on line one.

28. Minnesota Timberwolves - Toney Douglas, Florida State. Eventually, the T-Wolves will draft someone who can score. Luckily for Douglas, they won't likely make him spell S-C-O-R-E now that he is no longer in school.

29. Los Angeles Lakers - Dionte Christmas, Temple. Christmas in Los Angeles headlines sound real tantalizing to column writers such as Bill Plaschke. That's a good enough reason to draft Dionte here.

30. Cleveland Cavaliers - DaJuan Summers, Georgetown. What can you do with the 30th pick in the draft? Probably not much more than draft someone who will carry LeBron's bags for one year.