Crosstown Classic Round Up: Round 1, Game 1 Where Sox Scrubs Beat Cubs

White Sox-Cubs
Cy Danks throws against the hitless blunders

Game 1 of the Crosstown Classic was a microcosm of the Chicago Cubs' year. And who did the most damage for the South Side 'Hit' Men in their 4-1 win? A .251 hitter, a .233 hitter and a .250 hitter.

Ryan Dempster proved why he wasn't worth a dime of that multi-million dollar extension as he walked 6 batters en route to making the 2009 White Sox look like the 1927 Yankees and dropping his record dropped to 4-4 this season. Meanwhile, John Danks looked like Steve Carlton as he continuously found holes in the Cubs' bats, punching out 7 hitters to pick up the win. Danks made the Cubs line-up look like it had scrubs such as Aaron Miles, Reed Johnson and Mike Fontenot playing big roles in the game.

Oh wait.

Well, enough from me, let's see what others are saying.

Rick Morrissey thinks Lou Piniella just might shake the sh** out of this line-up:

"It's getting to the point where I'm going to have to start making some tough decisions and get other people in the lineup," Piniella said calmly. "I've been real patient with it, I'll tell you."

If Piniella is looking to jump-start his team, the best thing he can do is move Alfonso Soriano -- both offensively and defensively. His .291 on-base percentage is not helping the Cubs in the leadoff spot. Move him to sixth in the order and bat Ryan Theriot first. Put Jake Fox in left field, knowing you're going to sacrifice some defense (though not much) to get Fox's bat in the lineup, and send Soriano to second base. [Chicago Tribune]

The headline says it all: Nice work by the folks over at South Side Sox with the all-too-apt headline "White Sox Execute Cubs in Series Opener." Oh if it were only that true. Here's what the South Siders had to say.

"Stoney and Hawk heaped gobs of praise in Ozzie Guillen's direction for his brilliant management Wednesday -- I can't deny that he made all the right moves -- but I have to give far more credit to the White Sox execution of that game plan as a reason for the victory. ... While the Cubs and Sox are both clearly struggling offensively this season, the Sox at least looked like they had a solid approach at the plate today. ..." [South Side Sox]

Well, at least both sides have hot fans* in their corner.

* Apparently denotes girls that happen to be sporting a certain team's apparel, most likely based on the appearance of one's backside in baseball pants.