I'd Like To Show These Girls Some Power Rankings (See Below)

You can put 'em on the board...Yesss! (courtesy of the Sun-Times)

Every week, I'll put out power rankings until Phil Rogers acknowledges that mine are better than his. OK, moving on.

1. Happy returns. Jeff, our hoops connoisseur is back in the fold, just in time for the NBA Draft. The weekend also saw the return of BFeldt, who will make a strong effort to contribute to this blog. As for this upcoming week, M.J. Hartwig returns. Looks to be a busy week here.

2. Hot fans. I'd like to put her on the boooaaaarrrrrd ... YESSSSSSSSS!!!!1!!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!!

3. Facebook status updates. The social networking giant helped inspire this piece after the Cubs came from behind to beat the White Sox. Expect the FB statuses to be equally entertaining this week as we approach the NBA Draft and another Cubs-Sox weekend.

4. Landscaping. The American League Central is tired of its NL counterparts getting all the good lawnmowing jobs, so White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen decided he would get in on the fun.

5. Flintsontes Vitamins. The New York Times reported Sammy Sosa abused PEDs in 2003. Somehow, I think we all knew Flintstones Vitamins could help you only so much.

6. Reunions. Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa returned to a place each once called home. The Mark DeRosa love was a little too much for my liking, so the Cubs took it out on Woody.

7. Father's Day. Because you are not the father.

8. Das Uber Geigh. Hat tip to Hire Jim Essian. Sure, the Cubs and Sox have their fair share of "hot" fans, but both teams also have a sub-set of fans I just want to hit in the face with a cookie sheet. Both of these guys deserve a fate worse than that as they likely molest bottles of spray tan and hair gel like these guys.

9. Promises. B.J. Mullens says he has a promise from a team that is drafting in the Top 16. Ben Gordon is also rumored to have a promise (worth $11 million annually) from the Detroit Pistons. I promise to be thoroughly enraged if the Bulls draft Mullens and let Lil' Big Ben walk without getting anything in return.

10. Athletes and rap songs. Rapper Young Jeezy dropped a dis track on Gucci Mane & OJ Da Juiceman this week in which his punchline is that he "used to play Kobe until he played LeBron." Yeah, even this musical mind doesn't understand the reference. (Language NSFW)