The Nick Swisher Chronicles

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The Tampa Bay Rays defeated the Chicago White Sox 6-4 in Game 4 of the ALDS, winning the series 3 games to 1, eliminating the Pale Hose from the postseason

The South Siders have a lot of decisions to make before next season begins, one of which is whether or not OF/1B Nick Swisher should return next season.

I was able to get an exclusive transcript of the conversation from one of my sources between Dirty 30 and White Sox GM Kenny Williams at a local Chicago drinking establishment.

KENNY WILLIAMS (standing at the bar): Nick, we need to talk about your future on the team.

DIRTY 30 (walks away from pretty blonde girl): Yo! Yo! Yo! What's up K-Willie? Are you silly?

KW: Dirty, I'm not sure if we're going to bring you back next season.

D30: Why? I thought I had a good year. We made the playoffs and we had more fans this year than in the last 10. I think I had something to do with that.

KW: Well, Dirty, to be honest, your offense could have been better.

D30: What do you mean? I hit 24 home runs this season.

KW: Yeah, but you only hit .219.

D30: What are you talking about?

KW: Your batting average, it was only .219. That's almost pathetic for a guy who is eligible to make more than $21 million over the next three years.

D30: Really? My batting average was too low?

KW: Yes, Dirty. You need to convince me to bring you back next year.
(Dirty 30 proceeds to pass his hand over Kenny's bottle of Colt 45, which begins to suddenly sizzle.)

D30: Now I'm batting 1.000!

KW: Welcome back to the team.


Anonymous said...

Lu, I wonder if Dirty 30 dropped a Ruffee in that beer he bought you that night, cause you were pretty silly that night. lol