UPDATE: I'm Not Necessarily Defending Big Z's Big Blowup But ...

Update: Zambrano was suspended for six games and fined $3,000 for his actions. That $3,000 fine represents only 0.16901408450704225352112676056338 percent of his 2009 salary. Yeah, way to make an example out of him.

... there is no excuse for an ump bump.

I digress to the real reason for this post.

Have you ever seen a bigger group of douche umps?

Mark Carlson is a joke. So is Tim Tschida. As is Bob Davidson. These guys make Eric Gregg, Bruce Froemming, Joe West, Angel Hernandez and C.B. Bucknor look like competent officials.

Umpires are supposed to police the show, not become it. Isn't that what a good authority figure does?

Being an umpire is simple. Call balls and strikes, safes and outs, fairs and fouls ... and of course home run balls (with the help of video replay.) And as much as the older generation will come to the defense of umpires, noting how hitters and pitchers both do their own form of show boating, it still gives umpires no right or reason to do some of their own.

I pay to see Alfonso Soriano's bat flip after launching one on to Waveland Avenue. I pay to see Carlos Marmol pump his fist after cleaning up his own mess by striking out the side without allowing a run. I pay to see Reed Johnson crash through walls as he tries to make a catch.

However, no one pays to see umpires do anything.

Apparently, Davidson and this crew didn't get the memo.