Will the benches clear tonight for Fonzi?

If I were starting tonight for the Houston Astros I'd make sure I nailed Chicago Cubs frolicking left fielder Alfonso Soriano with a ball square on his hip.

The over the top celebration is a staple of Soriano and his man-crush John Cena and Monday night's walk-off grand slam was a good time to bust out the "You can't see me."

But act like you've done it before for God-sakes.

It's not like I wouldn't behave in the same way but then again I've never hit a home run in anything other than wiffle ball before. And if you're going to have a staple celebration, pick something specific.

First, he started with a long glare at the majestic fly for a few seconds, he was standing still, admiring the ball. Then a slow trot around the bases was punctuated by the signature Cena celebration/intimidation move/marketing gimmick.

That was all fine and dandy even with the mob at home plate. It's just a basic walk-off celebration in the MLB.

But making out with your wife and essentially jumping into the crowd to cap the celebration? Enough already.

Soriano showed up the other team and he should expect to get plunked. No big deal. Just make sure Big Z knows that.