Memo To Carlos Boozer: Don't Tease, Please

NBA 2009: Lakers Beat Jazz 113-100
Carlos Boozer's teases aren't pleasing this Bulls fan.

It was just last week when disgruntled Utah Jazz forward Carlos Boozer charmed Bulls fans on the Waddle & Silvy Show on ESPN Radio 1000. He loved the idea of playing in a big market, with a budding superstar and a franchise regaining the buzz it lost when Michael Jordan retired the second time.

The truth is Boozer just wants to get out of Utah, as his latest interview, a piece in the Miami Herald, which confirmed something I didn't need Sherlock Holmes to tell me to validate its truth.

"We first came here for tax reasons and fell in love with it,'' Boozer said, taking a break from his campers. ``We love the palm trees, the laid-back attitude, the sun, quality of life. It's like paradise here, and I would love to be part of the Heat. They're a very good team, and I'm real close to some of the guys. Dwyane and I started to get close at the Athens Olympics in 2004, and I'd love to play on his team. Plus, I already live here. I'm just waiting to see what happens.''

The 6-foot-9-inch forward is exactly what the Bulls need in a sidekick for defending NBA Rookie of the Year Derrick Rose. Not only would Boozer be an inside presence to balance the Bulls' outside marksmanship, he would be the the sign from Chicago management signifying The House That Jordan Built is open for serious business.

But when it comes to Boozer, it seems to be a classic case of buyer beware. Part of it is because of his injury-riddled past that caused him to play in only 37 regular season games last season. Or his bait-and-switch tactics that were the reason he ended up with the Jazz in the first place.

Boozer's desperate pleas for a team to save him from Utah are eerily similar to nearly every Disney movie damsel in distress who is searching for her Prince Charming and her happily ever after storybook ending. But in Boozer's case, "happily ever after" entails an alternate ending in which he holds Utah's management for ransom before parting ways.

He's like the runaway bride on 'roids. He'll tease you with the possibility of a 20-10 low-post presence. He'll please you with such a performance ... if he ever gets on the court. And eventually, he'll bolt at a moments notice if he sees a whiter horse with a shinier chariot.

I'm not saying I don't want Carlos Boozer in Chicago. I just would prefer he not bring his baggage to the Bulls