Power Rankings: You Won't Find Kevin Gregg Here

Every week I write Power Rankings as I try to find a blog segment that sticks around for more than three posts. I think I might have found it here, which is another forum in which I can mock Phil Rogers.

1. Teases. Names like Roy Halladay, Felix Hernandez and Adrian Gonzalez were bandied around and all your team ended up with was Scott Rolen for four prospects. Your favorite team is the Cincinnati Reds, isn't it?

2. Jake Peavy. White Sox fans haven't been this excited about something that was a month away from coming since they were a month from paying off their meth-based debts.

3. Witch Hunts. David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez made "The List" and that's not necessarily a good thing. But Jose Canseco, the most reliable source when it comes to the Steroid Era, suggests a Hall of Famer was roided-up during his playing career. Cue Men At Work ... now!

4. Minor League Affiliates In Major League Cities. Grabow and Gorzelanny for three steaming bags of garbage. Thanks again, Pittsburgh.

5. Twitter. Where your status can please and tease -- but hopefully not spread disease.

6. Dick Jokes. Ha ha, this headline says "Wang."

7. The Buried Lead. The point crazy Uncle Milton was really trying to get across to the media and Jake Fox being a productive catcher were among the buried leads I found last week.

8. The STFU Award. LaTroy Hawkins still doesn't know when to shut his f'ing mouth.

9. Homerism. At its finest.

10. 0.5. That's not Tony LaRussa's BAC, but it's what seperates the Cubs and Cards.