So the best the Cubs can do is call up Jeff Samardzija ... if they can only spell his name correctly. And while they're at it, can they call up Milton Bradley's bat? What about his hitting shoes? $30 million and he's batting B-I-N-G-O numbers ... that's not gonna cut it. (P.S. Adam Dunn is ripping the cover off the ball ... only me and the three Washington Nationals fans have noticed.)
Anyway, if Samardzija can spell relief, which seems to be something a majority of sCrUBS relievers cannot do, I will go out of my way to make sure his name is spelled correctly on this blog. That also means I will not call him Jeff Spellcheck when I have a lazy moment.
But what does this all mean? If the Cubs are calling up Samardzija to be ready to go tomorrow, it means someone has to go. It cannot be Angel Guzman (no more options). Or David Patton (Rule V guy). Could it be Neal Cotts? Maybe, but what about the old adage about being able to pitch forever if you're a lefty? Guess it doesn't apply to Cotts. Luis Vizcaino could go, but he hasn't been downright atrocious yet. I guess yet is the key word there.
Not that the Pirates have any talent, but does anyone know where Dave Littlefield is? Oh, right. He's with the Cubs.
It's not too late to clone Carlos Marmol, is it?