If the Yankees get off to a good start this year, you're going to read about 50,000 stories concerning Swisher's "loosening up of the Yankees clubhouse," and while I can't tell you whether that's true or not (thank God), I can say that Swisher's going to do everything in his power to make sure those stories happen.
Insert "Batting 1.000" punchline here.
But wait there's more:
By mid-May, I suspect he'll be dry humping Mariano Rivera's leg.
Rivera's leg, Jeter's girl, A-Rod's mirror ... among other things.