Get your Craig Sager on after the jump...
East Playoff Teams: Celtics, Cavs, Magic, Raptors, Sixers, Bulls, Pistons, Knicks
West Playoff Teams: Lakers, Nuggets, Jazz, Spurs, Blazers, Mavs, Hornets, Oklahoma City
NBA Finals: Lakers > Cavs (6 games)
MVP: LeBron James, Cavs
Rookie of the Year: Tyreke Evans, Kings
Coach of the Year: Not Vinny Del Negro, Any NBA team not named "Chicago Bulls"
Shots in the dark: The team most likely to end up with the most ping-pong balls is the Clippers. But the team most likely to end up with the No. 1 overall pick is Golden State. ... But it doesn't mean they will be the worst team to watch. The Grizzlies and T-Wolves will duke it out for ugliest loser. ... Rasheed Wallace is more likely to serve a suspension than Ron Artest. The suspension will be an internal matter. ... Friends of Pat Riley will spend more on hair products as holiday gifts than the Knicks spend on free agents in the summer of 2010. ... Vinny Del Negro will be replaced midseason by John Calipari. Everyone's ACT score goes through the roof. ... TBDS will go to a Grizzlies game in Memphis. Car will be busted into at halftime. Yours truly will be bombed with a Southern Belle.
Yeah, someone like her definitely fits the bill.
And that concludes another segment of: Predictions That Will Haunt The Ludameister.