Bears Buzz: They Are Who We Thought They Were (And They Still Suck)

Bears Buzz is the new segment which provides insight, analysis and below-the-belt shots at Chicago's opponents throughout the year. This week, the Detroit Lions reverted to their old ways.  Not that it wasn't expected, and believe me, no one in Chicago minded.

The numbers were deceiving.

The Lions ran 18 more plays, gained 122 more yards, converted 11 more first downs and possessed the ball for 13 more minutes.

And they still lost.

Welcome back to reality, Detroit.

Jay Cutler completed 18 of 28 passes (64 percent) and threw for only 141 yards and posted a passer rating of 100.4.  I'm unsure how I should feel about Cutler some times because he's not putting up the gaudy numbers I expected him to put up upon arrival in Chicago.  An aerial attack it has yet to become with Cutler under center.  For the most part he has played right into the hands of Ron Turner's inept, yet somehow, efficient offense.  Last year, Bears fans would have thrown a parade down Michigan Avenue had the team scored three red zone touchdowns in a game.  Now, they're ticked if they have to settle for a field goal.

And the Bears didn't need lengthy scoring drives, especially not when they were starting every other drive in enemy territory.  In fact, only one player touched the ball on the team's longest scoring drive of the day.  Johnny Knox, welcome to the good life.

In the first half, it looked like a professional football team lined up opposite of the Bears.  Then, the real Detroit Lions showed up.  You know, the ones that was win-less 19 of its last 20 attempts.  Yeah, those guys.

The Lions performed like a typical Ford product.  After losing its luster in the first-half, Detroit crashed, burned and was deemed as a complete and utter wreck in the second half.  It was reminiscent of how most Ford owners feel after purchasing their new ride only to watch it fall apart as soon as it leaves the lot.

Matthew Stafford threw for 296 yards and a touchdown, living up to the billing of why he was the No. 1 overall pick in last year's draft.  But after he was injured on being sacked by Adawale Ogunleye, on came Dante Culpepper.  In 2002, that would have meant doom.  But without Randy Moss, the one-time Madden cover boy was subdued.  So was the rest of Detroit's offense.  Running back Kevin Smith's existence became neutralized because he was nowhere near the goal line as he rushed for only 30 yards.  The Lions went three-and-out on three of their four third quarter possessions.  All that added up to scoring three measly points after intermission.

The Bears' offense wasn't much better at times in the second half.  However, Chicago was without it's top wideout in Devin Hester.  What's Detroit's excuse?

Oh, wait.  They're the Lions.

Thom Brenneman and the FOX broadcast team gushed over how confident the Lions were coming out of the gate.  They played like the kid who finally got laid after a lengthy drought as they made up for lost time, taking advantage of their emotional high.  But when they looked in the mirror, it all fell apart.  It won't be long before Detroit will be calling Washington out for another bail out plan as the Cowardly Lions will face Pittsburgh and Green Bay before hitting the bye.

Then everyone can strap themselves in for what will be the worst professional football game in the history of pro ball as the Lions host the St. Louis Rams.

First team to get into the red zone wins.  Deal?

Oh yeah, Robbie Gould, thanks to your 14-point week (and 52-yard field goal), you helped my fantasy team avoid complete embarrassment as you outscored Marques Colston and Darren McFadden. Unless Percy Harvin and Minnesota's defense go ape shit, while Adrian Peterson sits out thinking there will be a playoff game in The Dome tonight, I'll fall to 1-3 on the season.  Oh, and I have Donald Driver too.  Can you say conflict of interest?

Dear Matt Forte, 

Thanks for showing up to the party.  And double thanks for not showing up empty handed.  Please make this a weekly occurrence. 

Sincerely,

Bears fans