The Weekender

The Weekender is a blog with links to things you should read while spending time at your computer over the weekend while I'm spending time away from it.  Must read links after the jump.  Oh, and pretty girls, too.

The Weekender Returns

The Weekender is a blog with links to things you should read while spending time at your computer over the weekend while I'm spending time away from it.  Must read links after the jump.  Oh, and pretty girls, too.  (Ed. Note: I didn't even realize I missed The Weekender last week.  That's what happens when real life interferes with blog life.)

The Weekender

The Weekender is a blog with links to things you should read while spending time at your computer over the weekend while I'm spending time away from it.  Must read links after the jump.  Oh, and pretty girls, too.

Scarlett J Introduces You To The Weekender

It has come to my attention that a few of you lovely readers miss the Daily Dosage.  For those of you just tuning into The Big Dead Sidebar, the Daily Dosage was a round up of links that I liked -- and to catch your attention -- a picture of a girl you would like to have relations with.  Doing it on a daily basis turned out to be a pain in the butt, however, doing it once a week seemed like a good idea.

So consider this your weekly dosage -- or something like that.

TBDS Late Night: Baby, You're An All-Star. Let Me Show You My Signing Bonus

Carrie Underwood is an All-Star in my book. (Image Credit: Chickipedia)

We're only hours from first pitch from the All-Star Game, also known as Pujolspalooza. Here is some advice for NL manager Charlie Manuel. If he's wise and wants home field advantage in the World Series, he'll listen.

Albert Pujols, Hanley Ramirez, Ryan Braun, David Wright and Shane Victorino play the whole game. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Tim Lincecup pitches three innings. Johan Santana and Dan Haren each pitch two innings apiece. Heath Bell throws the eighth and Francisco Rodriguez takes over the ninth.

If that formula doesn't win for the National League, no formula ever will.

But enough about actual All-Star games, because game action won't start until 7:40 p.m. and you'll probably go to bed around 10:30 p.m. or the top of the third inning ... whichever comes first. So, let's talk about some All-Star ladies. Plenty of those are in the news, especially with the reports of Jessica Simpson newfound free agent status.

It got me to thinking about what kind of All-Star team I could put for myself. Also known as the most attractive girls I'll never get with. Enough small talk, let's cut to the gravy.

No. 1 Starter - Jessica Biel - The ace of the rotation.
No. 2 Starter - Scarlett Johansson - The total package, and unlike a lot of players in this game, she's all-natural.
No. 3 Starter - Jessica Alba - She could be an ace in any rotation. Her versatility as a blonde and a brunette can be very, very valuable.
No. 4 Starter - Megan Fox - This pic brings new meaning to "back-end of the rotation" amiright?
No. 5 Starter - Mariah Carey - Any team's rotation needs a durable fifth starter, and no one's been doing it longer on this franchise than Mariah.
Set-up Reliever - Eva Mendes - She's the Carlos Marmol of this squad. She's the fire-throwing Latina who with one glance can make your knees buckle.
Closer - Keelly Hazell, Stacy Kiebler, Anne Hathaway- In Billy Beane's world, anyone can be a closer. And since I am the self-proclaimed Billy Beane when it comes to scouting the ladies as I look at undervalued stats such as book smarts, street smarts, sass and sense of humor, I've got to suscribe to his theory.

On The DL - Lindsay Lohan - Lohan was a hot prospect coming up in the game, but got burned out thanks in part to some bad management. Reminds me a lot of the Kerry Wood story, so when she comes back, she'll come back as a hard throwing reliever. She's spent more time in rehab than Mark Prior.

Heck, I'm the guy who finds a girl who reads/recites/writes poetry, likes picking up the Sunday newspaper, coffee dates and stuff like that. So right now, I've got a closer by committee. Each of these girls brings something different to the table.

Manager - Erin Andrews - Like a lot of managers in today's game, The Sideline Princess' knowledge of the game from the booth will come in handy here.
General Manager - Sarah Palin - Experience in a position of power? Check. Sexy librarian glasses? Check. Good enough for me!

Quality Linkage:

• Create A Caption is back. Hell yes! [Awful Announcing]
• Recapping the event that made "making it rain" frowned upon at Las Vegas strip clubs. And no, I wasn't a part of it. [Las Vegas Review Journal]
• Comment ninjas make their (unfunny) debut. [Deadspin]
• God explains recent celebrity deaths. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• MLB All-Star Game commercial is kinda creepy. [YouTube]
• Martin Havlat uses Twitter to show his dismay over Dale Tallon being fired. [Fanhouse]
• Shameless plug for an addendum to the Summer Playlist of 2009. [LCM Daily Playlist]
  

Happy Birthday America!

Jessica Simpson is still hot! (via Chickipedia)

Just one question: WTF are you doing in front of a computer?

Go out, bust out the grill and cook some dogs and burgers. If you don't have a grill, find someone who does ... but don't come to the party empty handed. OK?

Enjoy this pic of Jessica Simpson, responsibly, of course. And have a Happy 4th of July.

Until a later date, here are some links to satisfy your hunger.

• Turk spurns Blazers for Raptors as his descent from NBA Finals to borderline eighth seed begins July 8. [ESPN]
• Speaking of descent, Alfonso Soriano is dropping down in the order, all the way to sixth with the Fukustick's .380 OBP goes to the top. [Chicago Sun-Times]
  
• How athletes prevent sunburn. [Deadspin]

That's it. I'm done. I'm gonna get the festivities started. Take care, America!

Daily Dosage: The Windy City Blows

Ozzie loooooves his White Sox fans! (via Photobucket)

The White Sox took two of three from the Cubs this weekend in the battle of whack Windy City baseball. These teams might play a make-up game at Wrigley in September, setting up a situation where one team could theoretically serve a blow to each other's playoff chances. But we won't talk about that until both teams are over .500.

Ozzie Guillen continues to live in bizarro world. First, he welcomed the Cubs to the world class facilities of the South Side, which included meth labs, crack spots and the ever so popular 35th Street underpass. Then he goes on to say Sox fans are not stupid like Cubs fans. (Remembers the Ligue's jumping Royals first base coach Tom Gamboa. Then other fans jumping umpire Laz Diaz. Then other fans harassing Craig Biggio's wife at teh 2005 World Series.) You're right Ozzie, White Sox fans aren't stupid. They're just embarrassing. [Chicago Tribune, Paul Sullivan]

Phil Rogers' stupidity continues. "Get Carlos Zambrano out of here, even if the Cubs have to give him away. He's not the guy you want as the ace of a curse-busting team, and at this point, it's wishful thinking that he'll ever mature into that guy. Proving that I did not attend Kellogg, Wharton or even the Acme School of Business, I offer this proposition for Jim Hendry: First thing Monday morning, put Zambrano on waivers. If anyone claims him and the $62.75 million left on his contract, which runs through 2012, immediately trade him for whatever is being offered, from a bag of balls to a 32-year-old minor-leaguer."

I won't even justify that with a witty response. [Chicago Tribune, That One Idiot]

Random Thought: This tidbit in the Trib suggests Aaron Miles could go on the disabled list soon. The former Cardinal is batting .203 this season with the Cubs, which begs the question: When was he ever able? Just cut bait.

Random Thought II: In theory, the Cubs traded Mark DeRosa for Aaron Miles and three minor leaguers. And unless those minor leaguers become Hall of Famers, Cubs fans will never live this down.

Daily Dosage: Dipsy-do, Dunk-A-Roo Edition

We're trading Song Girls for Laker Girls ... God I wish I was in L.A.

It's been a while since we've revived the Daily Dosage, one of the most popular segments in TBDS history. But with the NBA Draft lurking this evening, I thought it would be a good time to bring it back. Now starring the Laker Girls, because that is what USC Song Girls aspire to be, right?

Quality Linkage:

• Some ladies say size doesn't matter (holds back laughter), but apparently, the Bulls aren't going by that mantra. [Chicago Tribune]
• Brian Hanley runs down the Bulls' draft options, should they choose to keep their picks. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• For TBDS NBA scribe Jeff: The Bucks are keeping their options open ... which means if J-Flynn isn't there at 10, they'll screw it up. [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel]
• The different paths to the NBA Draft. [NY Times]
• What you need to know about tonight's draft coverage on the WWL. [Awful Announcing]
• The perfect team to execute Orlando's conference-winning offensive system. Beware of copycats *coughSpurscough* [The Sports Geeks]
  
• Hot NBA wives. [The Big Lead]
  
• Want more hot chicks? Sure you do. Here's a Megan Fox gallery. [MadeMan via Chickipedia]
  

Jon, Kate Plus 8 Things You Should Read Today

What better way to get hits than with a Megan Fox pic to go along with a Jon & Kate Plus 8 headline?

So much drama in the LBC ... er ... TV land ... yeah, that's more like it. Bothered by the Jon, Kate drama thanks in part to the overload of Facebook and Twitter, I've decided to turn back the hands of time here at TBDS and bring back the Daily Dosage.

If only for one lunch break.

1. The man responsible for 'Boom goes the dynamite' has hit the open market. [Awful Announcing]
2. Finally, a good book is made into a movie and Hollywood scraps it. (Flips double-bird toward the West Coast and shouts expletives.) [E!online]
3. A fight breaks out at Marlins-Yankees game, answering the question whether or not people actually go to Marlins games. [The Sports Hernia]
4. Nick Saban does not approve of your recruiting whispers. [The Wiz Of Odds]
5. Who wants a Natinals shirt? [Zazzle via Vegas Watch]
6. So, what is Albert Pujols' market value? [Crain's]
7. Joe Morgan would be a terrible eye witness. [SportsbyBrooks]
8. Joanna Krupa does to T.O. what Tony Romo shoulda done a long time ago. [With Leather]

Oh, and something about Erin Andrews, too. She became part of the topic of conversation today in the press box in Marion, Ill., only one year and six months after gracing Saluki Nation with her presence. Erin, please come back.

Now that that's over with, it's time to sit back, relax and watch the hits come in.

A-Rod's Already Famous, So Now He's Hooking Up With Kate Hudson

Now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Finally, those cringe-inspiring pictures of Yankees star Alex Rodriguez are starting to make sense.

Don't you remember when you were a kid and you had your first crush? You probably spent more time in front of the mirror trying to figure out the right words to convey your feelings to her than actually speaking to her. Heck, I still have that problem now.

But when you're making upward of $27 million a year, picking up starlets is as easy as hitting a Kevin Gregg fastball.

And A-Rod exemplifies it with his recent home run that came off of the playing field.

Sources of the NY Post revealed that it looks as if the slugging third sacker might be socking it to the beautiful and talented Kate Hudson.

Our source said a bartender at the Southwestern joint at 85th Street "was asking patrons not to go in the back room around 1 a.m. because A-Rod and Kate Hudson were back there making out."

One staffer at the restaurant confirmed to Page Six the two were there celebrating the Yanks' win against the Minnesota Twins.

"Yes, they were here together," the server told us, although she did not witness any lip-lock herself.

Another source said the two were spotted over the weekend outside the glamorous 15 Central Park West, where A-Rod rents an apartment.

Let me get this straight:

• Derek Jeter - every hot girl in the world.
• Nick Swisher - former model.
• A-Rod - Kate Hudson.

Maybe I need to take a road trip to the Bay Area and schedule an appointment with Dr. Barry and change my career path.

A-Rod And Kate Hudson Spotted Together In Manhattan [NY Post]

Site News: Guess Who's Bizzack?

Alright, I'm finally settled in The City of Wind and with a strong Internet connection teaming with a power source, I can bring to you a full day of posting.

And a picture of Lacey Chabert, who shined in Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past.

(That means she's hot!)

A Day Of Thanks

Today, The Big Dead Sidebar really goes off track. It's Friday before Graduation and there's a lot of "thank yous" and such for me to give out. So, I'll be doing that in canned posts throughout the day as I will not likely be in any sort of condition to make a post seeing that I will be recovering from the second bi-annual DE Awards Banquet & Dinner.

So, leading off our day of eye candy is Natalie Portman via chickipedia.

So, Who's Getting Busted Next?

Prediction: Next to get busted, Derek Jeter. He's gotta be on something to be getting all those honeys.

Image Source: Big League Stew

Pardon The Interruption: Chicago Baseball Week In Review Will Be Seen Later

Who needs Chicago Baseball Week In Review when you've got Mariah Carey?

Sorry, loyal readers. The good news for you is that we've got some good stuff in store for you later in the week.

Before you complain, you could write my three-page paper on Saluki softball, a 2,000 word paper on whether or not student-athletes should get paid or not and a five-page paper on media relations.

That's what I thought.

So enjoy Mariah and the canned heat we've got coming to you this week.

Photo Credit: Chickipedia

Site News: TBDS To Slow Its Roll

Part of the reason for this post is to put forth a picture of Jessica Biel. But the real reason is to announce some site news.

Because of Finals Week and the week of hell that leads up to Finals Week at Southern Illinois University Carbondale, several TBDS writers are handcuffed. Therefore, things might be slower around here for the time being.

Don't worry, though, the site is still in good hands. Hartwig will be here for all your baseball needs, and you can follow Johnny Sole and the Chicago Blackhawks' playoff run and I'll do my damnest to follow anything Cubs, Bulls or SIU-related.

BFeldt and SalukiOrphan will return to their Cardinal-loving posts after Finals Week and Graduation weekend.

And so will the rest of the staff.

Picture Credit: Chickipedia

The Dosage: Meet Me Under The Arch Edition

I do not care that she is married.

As long as I am looking for love, I will be convinced that Scarlett is my soul mate.

Maybe I'll find true love during my four day vacation .. er.. business trip to St. Louis for the Missouri Valley Conference Men's Basketball Tournament which begins later today.

And by true love I mean three wins for the SIU men's basketball team.

If you want a tourney preview not written by me, I suggest this bit by the Wichita Eagle, which houses Paul Sullentrop, who I feel is one of the best b-ball beat writers in the Valley.

I won't take credit for finding him, but I take suggestions when it comes to reading good writers.

But he still doesn't dress as well as I do.

Not many people do.

From Carbondale to St. Louis: The March to the Arch. SIU has got its work cut out for it and will need three wins to extend its consecutive postseason appearance streak to seven years.

If not, baseball and softball season are in full swing. [Salukis March begins under the Arch]

Saluki softball squeaks by, then smokes SEMO. No. 18 SIU took both games of its home opening series against Southeast Missouri State, beating the Redhawks 2-1 in game one, and 6-0 in game two. The Salukis are now 13-1. They're good and they're fun to watch. So far this season, I'm willing to say they are a sportswriter's dream. [Saluki softball sweeps SEMO in home opener]

Daily Dosage: The 'Stay Classy, Carbondale' Edition

Carrie Underwood apparently is fond of ducking cameras.

The paparazzi won't follow us around Carrie.

Just saying.

Busy day for me as I have class at 9 a.m. but am still prepped for a day full of blogging.

That's just how I roll.

Let's get this day started right with today's Dosage.

Salukis host streaking Sycamores. While the SIU men's basketball team is coming off back-to-back 20-plus-point losses, Indiana State has won three-in-a-row. Sounds like a mismatch, but the Salukis beat the Sycamores handily in Terre Haute, Ind., last month.

But what happens without Bryan Mullins in the mix? [Daily Egyptian]

Addressing Saluki Nation. The column is self explanatory. But here's the background: As a former Dawg Pound member (for four years!) I was upset with the way certain members of the student section acted and when I got a chance to watch the game replayed, it bothered me even more. It's as simple as this: Stay classy, Carbondale. [Daily Egyptian]

Another audio edition of one of Carbondale's favorite staples, The Sports Lounge. [siuDE.com]

Quality Linkage:

• Eric Gordon made a good decision choosing the NBA over Indiana. [LA Times]
• Carlos Zambrano has lip fur. [Mouthpiece Sports]
• What's wrong with Duke? Everything, for starters. [ACC Sports]
• Buffalo Bills cheerleaders invade Iraq in a good way. [Busted Coverage]
• A-Rod's presser about roids. [Awful Announcing]
  

Daily Dosage: The 'I'm sad no one responded to my column' edition

SIU's men's basketball team got routed, and we'll get to that in just a minute. The women's swimming and diving finished in third place. The women's basketball team also got handled by Creighton.

Damn.

But more important than that, I did not get one response to Friday's column.

Of course not until Saturday night when the Missouri Valley Conference's most fashionable sports writer hit the bar scene.

I'll tell stories one day.

One day.

'Til then, I can resume crushing on Amanda Bynes.

Salukis slammed by high-flying Bluejays. Where else can I go with this story? Creighton's really good. They've got senior leadership, young stars and the Missouri Valley Conference's best coach.

82-60 kinda says it all. [Daily Egyptian]

No-no duo powers SIU softball. Alright, enough gloom and doom from the Saluki basketball world and let's talk about softball.

My new favorite Saluki team is off to an 8-0 start as a pair of Saturday no-hitters from Nikki Waters and Katie McNamara sparked the Salukis to a four-game sweep of the Samford Bulldog Bash in Birmingham, Alabama.

SIU spanked Austin Peay and Gardner-Webb in the double-round robin tournament. I really can't wait 'til this team returns to C'Dale. [Daily Egyptian]

Quality Linkage:

• Jeff Allen and I have similar Valentine's Day sentiments. [DC Sports Bog]
• Julian Jones (no, not the running back) will help you avoid any Plaxidents. [Wall Street Journal]
• Michael Jordan's still got game. [Bossip]
• Welcome to Twitter, Lance Armstrong. [Twitter via Deadspin]
  

Daily Dosage: Best of the Rest Part V

I will always have a crush on Mariah Carey. Always.

I don't care that she's married. Nick Cannon might have money, talent (somewhat) and a nice paycheck from Drumline, but he's just not me.

I'm still trying to figure out how Jeter got her and then why he dumped her. I guess when Jessica Biel and Minka Kelly follow, you've gotta move on.

Speaking of moving on, we're a day closer to Valentine's Day. Raise your hand if you're ready for it.

(Crickets).

On that note, here's your Daily Dosage.

Saluki softball seeks to still streak. SIU got lotsa media love this week. They opened the season 4-0 with wins over the then-No.20 Long Beach State and then Oregon State of the Pac-10.

Sophomore Danielle Glosson was named MVC Pitcher of the Week and the Salukis were moved into the USA Today Top-25 and now rank No. 24. They'll look to continue that positive trend this weekend in Birmingham, Alabama. [Daily Egyptian]

SIU-Creighton to make love on "The Deuce." The Salukis and Bluejays square off Saturday at 4:05 p.m. on ESPN2 in the continuation of the MVC's most heated rivalry. Fine and dandy.

It's Valentine's Day and I'll be working. Maybe this column will land me Ms. Perfect. [Daily Egyptian]

Quality Linkage:

• Mentioning Erin Andrews gets this blog 100 extra hits. Mentioning Erin Andrews won Playboy's America's Sexies Sportscaster gets me 200. Mentioning Erin Andrews said last year she wanted to be my Valentine. Priceless. [Playboy]
• NBA legend Elgin Baylor sues Clippers, claims racism. [LA Times]
• An A-Rod story that doesn't involve steroids. Does involve nipple. [The Sports Hernia]
• How to avoid choking. [Scientific American]
  

Daily Dosage: Best of the rest part V

Some people said my first Top 10 celebs list was to vanilla. Too expected.

So I drop this Tina Fey on the folks and I get questioned. Tina Fey is great, don't hate.

So today I went with Kristen Bell, the other half of the Forgetting Sarah Marshall starlet cast.

Let's get some Dosage.

Panthers pound Salukis to secure season sweep. I'll be honest, I didn't see this one coming. SIU just played two solid games without its floor general, Bryan Mullins, and had standout games from their young guards (Kevin Dillard, Justin Bocot). Well, UNI showed why it is sitting atop the conference with a 26-point win.

From Sweet 16 to playing on Thursday in St. Louis has officially become a distinct possibility. [Daily Egyptian]

Close the 'Book' on that one. In a bit of happier news, freshman forward Anthony Booker isn't going anywhere. When freshman guard Torres Roundtree left the team when the New Year started, rumors swirled that Booker, his life-long best friend, would follow. In this feature story, he puts that all to rest. [Dawg Tracker]

Roundtree booted from JUCO. In a related story (only in the sense that it relates to a former Saluki basketball player) Roundtree, who recently enrolled at JUCO power Southern Idaho, was dropped from the team after reportedly failing a drug test.

It's been quite a dramatic fall for Roundtree, who started several games for SIU. I hope he gets his life back on track. [Magic Valley]

Quality Linkage:

• Jenks: Drunk, violent, flame thrower according to bio. [Midwest Sports Fan]
• Donald Fehr doesn't want those other 103 PEDophiles to get the A-Roid treatment. [USA Today]
• Straw to pen tell-all about NY Met-sexcapades. [NY Post]
• Crashing D-Wade's party. Kind of. [Ramblings of the Unmotivated]
• How to land Erin Andrews on Valentine's Day. [Awful Announcing]