Pigskin Pimpin On A Sunday

Your weekly installment of football stuff and gratuitous cheerleader photos after the jump ... has been replaced for this week.

Who's Burning Detroit? WBD4.0

[Editor's Note: Last year, Scott Mieszala served as my Assistant Sports Editor before I went all Dusty Baker on him and burned him out midway through the semester.  Still, Scott presented his highly regarded weekly columns.  The fact that he is without a job while scabs such as Rick Morrissey and Chris DeLuca are still employed is a sad.  Someone, hire him.  With that said, here he is with a new rendition of his award-winning column, "Who's Burning Detroit?"]

So, who will it be this week?  Find out after the jump.

Who's Burning Detroit? WBD3.0

[Editor's Note]: Last year, Scott Mieszala served as my Assistant Sports Editor before I went all Dusty Baker on him and burned him out midway through the semester.  Still, Scott presented his highly regarded weekly columns.  The fact that he is without a job while scabs such as Rick Morrissey and Chris DeLuca are still employed is a sad.  Someone, hire him.  With that said, here he is with a new rendition of his award-winning column, "Who's Burning Detroit?"

So, who will it be this week?  Find out after the jump.

Who's Burning Detroit?

[Editor's Note]: Last year, Scott Mieszala served as my Assistant Sports Editor before I went all Dusty Baker on him and burned him out midway through the semester.  Still, Scott presented his highly regarded weekly columns.  The fact that he is without a job while scabs such as Rick Morrissey and Chris DeLuca are still employed is a sad.  Someone, hire him.  With that said, and the Detroit Lions are coming into Soldier Field to face the Chicago Bears, I thought it would be the perfect time to bring Scott on to reprise his award-winning column, "Who's Burning Detroit?"


So, who will it be this week?  Find out after the jump.

Pigskin Pimpin' On A Sunday

Ohhhh snap it's another edition of your favorite snarky and sarcastic football segment.  Catch it if you can ... after the jump.

POLL: Bigger Disappointment: Jay Cutler Or Your Fantasy Team?

Alright, so Jay Cutler threw four interceptions in the Bears' opening night in Green Bay.  So, what?  Chicago still has 15 more games to go.  Plenty of time to make sure that Rex Grossman didn't show up to Lambeau Field wearing a white No. 6 jersey.

Cutler threw for 277 yards despite the four picks.  Don't get me wrong, the four picks won't fly when the Bears host the defending world champs next week, but imagine what he will be capable of when Detroit comes rolling into town in Week 4.

Then there's your fantasy team.  And by "your" fantasy team, I mean mine.

Marques Colston and Frank Gore were spared single-digit scoring games thanks to touchdown scores.  Willie Parker might as well have been running backward for the Steelers, and Brett Favre needs to find Vinsanthe Schiancoe for some touchdowns.  If it wasn't for Favre, no one would have even known Mark Chmura existed.  Well, except for his babysitter.  Then there was T.J.H.'s forgettable debut in Seattle.  Matt Hasselbeck throws three touchdowns (in a win) and you don't catch one of them?  That's what I call disappointment.

I really do not want to have to rely on Kevin Smith (not that guy), Vernon Davis, Felix Jones and Donald Driver to carry me to a fantasy championshp, so I'm hoping my fantasy (and reality) team get it together.  And fast.

Jay Cutler or Your Fantasy Team: Who Had The Worse Week?

• Cutler! He stunk.
• My fantasy team! They stunk.
• Luda's fantasy team! Luda's just a dumb drafter.

Created on Sep 14, 2009

View Results

poll by twiigs.com

A White Sox Winner Two Weeks Too Late

Phase one of the Chicago White Sox's playoff plan is complete, defeating the Detroit Tigers 8-2 to clinch a share of the American League Central Division title.

Phase two kicks off tomorrow when the Sox face the Minnesota Twins at U.S. Cellular Field.

Unfortunately for my fantasy team, the South Siders' victory came two weeks too late for me, personally.

Gavin Floyd picking up the win and eight strikeouts two weeks ago and Alexei Ramirez's grand slam would have given me a fantasy baseball championship.

Instead, their contributions are too little, too late.

As for White Sox Nation, sleep tight, for tomorrow you can extract your revenge by blasting your arch-rival Minnesota Twins at the comforts of home.

What's your fantasy?

Alyssa Milano. *Sighs* Now that's what comes to mind when I think about Fantasy Baseball. I digress as I breakdown how each of my eight teams made the playoffs this year against how Roto Authority tells you how to do so.

• Use conservative projections. Well, that's a little bit of a "duh" moment. If you see a projection that has Ryan Howard with a .300 batting average, you know they're smokin' some of the sticky-icky. I like to use the most conservative projections because if/when your players exceed those expectations, you feel good, no matter where your team finishes.
  
• Don't consider starting pitching until the eighth round of the draft. I completely disagree with this. My best team sports this pitching staff (pick number in parentheses): Jake Peavy (8), Brandon Webb (17), Cole Hamels (32), Roy Halladay (80), Felix Hernandez (89). It's sick and that quintet has dominated W's, K's, WHIP and ERA.
  
• Pursue power/speed threats whenever possible. Again, agreed. My power/speed threats for that team are my starting OFs: Nate McLouth, Corey Hart and Bobby Abreu.
  
• Don't pay for closers. Again, complete disagreement! You get the best of the best and you let the rest settle it out down the road. I like having three closers. For this team, I used my fourth and fifth round picks on Frankie "K-Rod" Rodriguez and Jonathan Papelbon and Kerry Wood was my 10th round pick. I think I won that category every week.
  
• Heed position scarcity. Shortstops, catchers and third baseman were at a premium this year. For most of the year, my team struggled with Alex Gordon and Bobby Crosby on the left side, but picking Geovany Soto in the 13th round was a savior. Lately, Jed Lowerie, J.J. Hardy, Ryan Zimmerman, Yunel Escobar and Alexei Ramirez have pimped out the left side.
  
• Be a waiver wire maniac. I really didn't use the waiver wire in this league, but I wish I did. I would have picked up Cliff Lee and Ryan Dempster had I known Justin Verlander and Huston Street were gonna suck this year. I turned Verlander and Street into Hardy and Jay Bruce. And you can't hate on that.
• Trade pitching for hitting. Again, doesn't make sense. Pitching wins because if you can dominate those positions (like I did in this draft) you can draft a lot smarter at the starting positions. My team for most of the year has consisted of: Soto, James Loney, B.J. Upton (traded Josh Hamilton for him...big mistake, but I still finished with a 11 game lead in first place), Escobar, Lowerie, McLouth, Abreu, Hart, Bruce and Joey Votto.
  

Other quality bits of advice:

• Draft with your head (with the help of a stat sheet), not with your heart. I understand that _______ is your favorite player on your favorite team or that ____________ is a hottie who looks good in baseball pants. But those don't count in the fantasy standings. If they did, David Eckstein would be the No. 1 overall pick based on his scrappiness.
• Position Flexibility. I like having two position players on my bench because I like having the extra pitcher on my squad. That's why position flexibility is key. Joey Votto and Yunel Escobar were mainstays on my roster this season. Why? Because Votto was eligible at 1B and OF and Escobar was 2B/3B/SS eligible. Other versatile phenoms include Chone Figgins (2/3/OF), Alexei Ramirez (2/SS/OF) Mark DeRosa (1/2/3/OF) and Ty Wigginton (1/2/3/OF).
• 'Moneyball' wins (fantasy) championships. Sure, Billy Beane's mentallity might just get his team into the playoffs, but it could bring you a fantasy championship. Guys that knock the ball out the park can win you HR and RBI, while strikeout pitchers can win you K's, WHIP and ERA for the most part.