Bears Buzz: Cutler's Clutch Performance, Forte's Fantasy Value & Seattle's Sickening Unis

Bears Buzz is the new segment which provides insight, analysis and below-the-belt shots at Chicago's opponents throughout the year.  Come on a journey, won't you...

Chicago Football Has Moved Into The 21st Century. Thank You Jay Cutler.

Kyle Orton, your Broncos are 3-0 and I'm really happy for you (not) and I'm gonna let you finish. But Jay Cutler had one of the best game-winning drives of all time!

OK.  Maybe not.  And while it would be totally wrong to anoint the Chicago Bears as Super Bowl champions now, there are some facts that just need to be said aloud right here and right now.

There is no doubt in my mind that Rex Grossman would have thrown an interception during that fateful fourth quarter drive.  Kyle Orton would have made several underthrown attempts to make pass completions only before fumbling away a game-winning opportunity like he had taken several shots of Jack Daniels while the Bears were on defense.

Make no mistake about it, Jay Cutler won this game.  And to think, one brave NFL prognosticator said Cutler would throw three TD passes against Seattle in Week 3.  Um, yeah.  I'll be taking your praise in the form of cash, credit, check or full frontal-nudity.

If Orton or Grossman is under center, there is no way the Bears score their first touchdown because they would have sent Robbie Gould onto the field for the safe three points.  Real NFL quarterbacks make those passes.  Not average QBs like Orton.  Not flashes-in-the-pan like Grossman.

Legit NFL signal callers make those kinds of plays.

And that is why I'm happy to be a Bears fan after the team's 25-17 win against the Seattle Seahawks.

Pigskin Pimpin' On A Sunday

Ohhhh snap it's another edition of your favorite snarky and sarcastic football segment.  Catch it if you can ... after the jump.

Why Your Team Won't Beat The Bears In The Super Bowl: Seattle Seahawks

In 2007, the Seahawks allowed Cedric Benson to score a rushing touchdown. He would then go on to score with girls on a boat.

Seattle doesn't have much going for it these days. Grunge is dead. Their baseball team (though 56-52) might as well be as it is as close to the first place Angels (9 games back) as it does to the last place A's (9 games up). And their basketball team is non-existent.

On top of that, they have to watch the Seattle Seahawks play football 16 times per season. And to make matters worse, I'm breaking some news in the Pacific Northwest.

Kurt Cobain is dead. And your Seattle Seahawks don't have a prayer against the eventual Super Bowl champion Chicago Bears.

1. Week 3: A West Coast banging Dr. Dre would be proud of. The Seahawks will get their shot at the Bears on Sept. 27 and should be riding the high after pounding the Rams in Week 1 and maybe sneaking a win past the up-and-coming 49ers. But then they have to face the Bears. Chicago should be coming off an Earth-moving victory against the defending champion Pittsburgh Steelers, but might find themselves looking forward to a Week 4 thrashing of the Detroit Lions. And what better than beating a bird as a pregame feast for dumping Detroit.

Prediction: Jay Cutler will throw for 457 yards and 3 touchdowns, and that is in between creating an enitrely new offense Ron Turner couldn't screw up.

2. T.J. Houshyourmamacuziaintyodaddy. Life is going to be different for "The Housh" in 2009. Matt Hasselbeck is no Carson Palmer, nor is he as cute as Elizabeth. Nate Burelson is no Chad Johnson Ochocinco.

And didn't you know? His Madden ranking is in the pooper, according to him. Stay away from this future fantasy flop.

3. Seattle's running game might give you the runs. Julius Jones. Justin Forsett. T.J. Duckett. This trio of running backs doesn't deserve a witty, well-written punchline.

4. Um, you got two guys named T.J. Won't that get confusing. Let the record show that no team in NFL history has won a Super Bowl with two guys named T.J. on the same roster.

Just saying.

5. Seattle: The cradle of depressed civilization. Let's think about it now, folks. Grunge is in the rearview mirror. So are the SuperSonics. So are the Mariners' best days -- like when Griffey, A-Rod and the Big Unit roamed the dome. The most exciting thing about the town might be its soccer team.

Oh, and maybe Starbucks.

But if you happen to get stuck with a Seattle Seahawk on your fantasy team it better be T.J. Houshmazilla. Yeah, I bashed him earlier, but look at the defenses he goes against this season. St. Louis (Weeks 1, 12), San Francisco (Weeks 2, 13), Jacksonville (Week 5), Arizona (Week 6), Detroit (Week 9), Minnesota (Week 12), Houston (Week 14), Green Bay (Week 16). All of these teams ranked below average against the pass. That's 13 of 16 opponents. Maybe "The Housh" made a half decent decision to play in Seattle after all -- of course -- you have to deal with the non-Pacman issued rain.

Tomorrow's runner-up to the 2010 Super Bowl Champion Bears: New York Jets