G-G-G-G-G(orzelanny) Unit Stands Strong In Debut

In 2007, Tom Gorzelanny won 14 games for the Pittsburgh Pirates -- a team that lost 94 games and finished in dead last. On Aug. 4, 2009, Gorzelanny made his debut with the Chicago Cubs, and while it is only one start, the newest Cub to don the No. 22 jersey pitched a lot like this one guy who also once proudly wore No. 22.

And no, I'm not talking about Kevin Hart, either.

Gorzelanny tossed 7 1/3 strong innings in the Cubs' 6-3 win against the Reds. He allowed one run, scattered three hits and struck out six batters. The most important statistic, however, is that Gorzelanny allowed only one walk. At the plate, he went 1-for-3 with a walk and a run batted in.

He threw first-pitch strike after first-pitch strike, showing flashes of why the Pirates made him a second-round pick in 2003. It also showed why the Pirates haven't made the playoffs since my mom rolled around town in a black Chevy Corsica with a tape deck.

Despite this being the smallest of sample sizes, there is very little doubt in my mind that Gorzelanny can (and will) become the next discarded Pirate to have his star shine with the Cubs. If he does so, he will follow in the footsteps of Aramis Ramirez, Kenny Lofton, and to an extent, Randall Simon.

In six years with the Pirates, A-Ram had a .263 batting average, .314 on-base percentage, .435 slugging percentage and a .747 OPS. Ever since putting on Cubbie blue pin stripes, Ramirez has hit .300, on-based at a .364 clip, posted a .554 slugging percentage and OPSed .915 while watching his errors drop from a career high 33 in 2003, to a career best 10 in 2007.

In 2003, Lofton batted .277 with the Pirates. After coming along in the Ramirez trade, he hit .327, posted a .381 on-base percentage and an .852 OPS as a center fielder.

Even Randall Simon enjoyed success as a Cub. In 33 games he slugged 6 home runs and hit .282. In 91 games with Pittsburgh, he hit .274 with 10 home runs.

Long story, short: Gorzelanny has a lot to live up to when compared to the former Pirates the Cubs have saved in the past. But if baseball's favorite minor league affiliate model has taught us anything, Gorzelanny is bound to succed if only because he's out of Pittsburgh.

Doing Jim Hendry's Dirty Work Part II: Does John Smoltz Interest Anyone?

John Smoltz could be the cure to what ails the Cubs' bullpen

I'm pretty sure I found the cure to the Chicago Cubs' bullpen woes. Problem is, they'd have to get it via the a waiver trade.

Nick Cafardo of the Boston Globe wonders aloud:

"On Monday, the Red Sox put John Smoltz, Brad Penny, Manny Delcarmen, and Ramon Ramirez, in addition to (Jason) Bay, on trade waivers. Of the players on the list, who would not be pulled back? The guess is all of them would be pulled back, but the issue is not black-and-white with Smoltz and Lowell. Smoltz has had limited success so far. You wonder whether a National League team would figure Smoltz could give it five or six decent innings as a starter in a less-demanding league for pitchers."

The Ludameister wonders aloud:

"What would it take for the Cubs to get John Smoltz, who converted 154 saves from 2001-2004, from Boston."

Smoltz hasn't closed since 2004 and posted 44 wins from 2005-2007 while making at least 32 starts. But since joining the Red Sox, Smoltz has been hit and hit hard as he is 2-4 with a 7.12 earned run average and a 1.500 WHIP.

As a reliever, Smoltz's K/BB ratio jumps from 2.92 to 5.60. His batting average against drops from .238 to .215. Opponents OBP dips from .296 to .254. Slugging percentages fall to .318 from .363. The WHIP slips from 1.189 to .976 while the K/9 ratio jumps to 9.6 from 7.8.

All of these are tell-tale signs to yours truly that Smoltz needs to return to the 'pen and to the National League.

Jim Hendry, I've done the dirty research work. You make it happen.

The Tom Gorzelanny Era Begins Tonight In Cincinnati

Will Tom Gorzelanny become the next former-Pirate to become a star in Cubbie blue pinstripes?

The Great American Ball Park has been a house of horrors for Tom Gorzelanny (nine runs, 4.1 innings pitched), so it's only fitting that Chicago's newest left-handed starter is making his first start as a Cub against the Reds tonight, right?

Gorzelanny is the local boy hoping to do good for his hometown Cubbies, who he should know a thing or two about inauspicious starts. But I've got some good news for the Evergreen Park, Ill., native.

You're out of Pittsburgh. No longer will you be backed by futile management, mundane managers or a depleted fan base that hasn't had anything to cheer for since Barry Bonds skipped town.

Welcome to a fan base that demands winning and will accept nothing less than a championship.

We've seen a winning environment spark Matt Holliday's 20-for-37 start as a Cardinal after leaving Oakland. I can't be the only Cubs fan wondering whether or not a winning environment can do to Gorzelanny what it had done for Aramis Ramirez.

Ramirez went from a lazy defender with good offensive skills in Pittsburgh to a franchise cornerstone who has provided Gold Glove defense in the last two years ever since coming to Chicago.

Using that logic, Gorzelanny will turn into a slimmer version of C.C. Sabathia any minute now.

Good luck, and godspeed, Tommy.

Why Your Team Won't Beat Da Bears In The Super Bowl: The Cowardly Detroit Lions

Even PicApp refuses to acknowledge the Lions' existence.

Last season, the Detroit Lions became the first team in NFL history to lose each and every game of a 16-game schedule. This year, the Lions will attempt to repeat avoid that dubious feat.

The good news for the Lions is that they have a new coach, a new quarterback (whose GF has great cans) and even a new logo. The bad news for the Lions is that they play in Detroit and are still a franchise that hasn't fielded a winning season since 2000.

In more bad news for Detroit's footballers: they have to face Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears ... twice!

And this is why the Cowardly Detroit Lions won't beat Da Bears once (let alone in the Super Bowl) this upcoming season.

1. Matt Stafford's road beef will distract Brian Urlacher only for so long. By now, everyone knows that the Bears' star middle linebacker goes through road beef like Charlie Weis goes through Italian Beef. And sure, Stafford's chick with the stellar rack might distract Urlacher for just a moment, but then again, there will be 10 other defenders ready to pound Stafford -- then her. Then her friends.

2. They don't have Jay Cutler. While Stafford might be the savior, he won't likely last long behind an offensive line that's got more holes than Britney Spears' fishnets. Neither will Daunte Stallworth Culpepper. Detroit's only hope is that GM or Ford can engineer Drew Henson and Drew Stanton into one serviceable quarterback named Drew Henstantson. But we know how their efforts have been doing as of late.

3. An early unforgiving schedule will make what's left of the fans in the Lions den migrate over to Joe Louis Arena to see what the Red Wings are doing. There isn't an easy game through the first six weeks of the season, and knowing the Lions, they'll find a way to lose during their bye week. They've got winnable games against St. Louis (Nov. 1), Seattle (Nov. 8) and Cleveland (Nov. 22). If they find themselves 0-15 by the time their second meeting with the Bears rolls around, expect Cutler to throw for at least 700 yards and five touchdowns.

4. Barry Sanders is still retired. That means scenes like this will be few and far between for Lions fans.

5. Detroit is just engineered to fail. The economy sucks. Fernando Rodney as a closer sucks. Rich Rod sucks. The only things that don't suck in Detroit are the Red Wings and Eminem (whose last album kinda sucked) -- both of which haven't been relevant to most of America since the early 2000s.

But if you happen to get stuck with a Detroit Lion on your fantasy team it better be wide receiver Calvin Johnson. Because owning Chris Hannon, Eric Fowler or Steve Sanders will help you clinch a record that might end up being worse thatn the Lions' by season's end.

Tomorrow's runner-up to the 2010 Super Bowl Champion Bears: St. Louis Rams.

Defending This Generation Of Starting Pitchers

Reports indicating that Mark Prior's time with the San Diego Padres is done have given old, crusty baseball weirdos an outlet to rag about the good ol' days when you walked up a hill 20 miles each way (in the snow, mind you) to get to and from Crosley Field in between tales of how great pitchers were back in the "good ol' era" of baseball and about how these new guys are pansies.

Of course, those were the days when cars lasted forever, gas was cheap and love was free. Now, unless it's from Japan -- it stalls coming out of the lot. And unless you're getting E-85, you're paying somewhere around $3.00 per gallon. And unless you've got $81,000 in a backpack, you're getting no love at the club.

That is where this generation of baseball fans needs to stand up for themselves. For years, I heard those baseball tales, and with all due respect to my mother -- who raised me to be the baseball-loving goof that I am -- she's wrong. That whole generation is wrong. And don't let them tell you they've never made mistakes, for that is the same generation that elected George W. Bush to the U.S. presidency. Twice.

My beef with my mother and the older generation of baseball fans is that they compare this entire era of pitchers with Sandy Koufax, Tom Seaver, Bob Gibson and others of that ilk. All of these guys are Hall of Famers. That would be like Yankee fans complaining about Nick Swisher's production in right field because once upon a time, the Bronx Bombers had a right fielder that averaged 46 homers and 143 RBIs per year.

So, why aren't all 29 baseball teams producing Koufaxes, Seavers and Gibsons? I could tell you about how expansion has weakened the overall talent pool. Or I could talk about how lowering the mound has hurt pitchers' velocity, as this former C-student (in science) could tell you that throwing from a higher leverage point will help you throw harder.

But it is much more simple than that. The truth is: Hitters are better these days.

And to prove my point, I (begrudgingly) have to make an example of Bob Gibson.

In 1969, Gibson led the league in complete games, tossing 28 in 35 starts. And while he threw at least two complete games against each of the other 11 teams in the National League -- an incredible feat in the least -- my argument is that he did so against inferior offensive competition.

For example:

The world champion New York Mets, a team beloved in my mother's heart as she grew up a Mets fan in New York. (Yeah, everyone makes mistakes) The Miracle Mets had six everyday players batting .271 or lower, only one player with an OBP over .350 and only two players OPSing higher than .800.

Sounds like a pretty crummy offense for a team that won a World Series.

So, let's compare with baseball's Washington Nationals. Yes, at 33-72, the Nasty Nats are just that -- nasty -- as they hold a firm grip on baseball's worst record. Yet, they rank fourth in the NL in batting average, second in on-base percentage and fifth in OPS.

The '69 Mets ranked seventh, 10th and 11th in those same categories in their banner raising year. No wonder Bob Gibson threw four of his 28 complete games against that pathetic offense. Not to take anything away from Gibson, but 16 of them came against teams that ranked in the lower half of the league in batting average.

A break down of Gibson's CGs are as follows:

Three against the Cubs (.253, 5th in BA), Expos (.240, T-10th), Braves (.258, 3rd) and Giants (.242, 7th). And two each against the Pirates (.277, T-1st), Phillies (.241, 9th), Reds (.277, T-1st), Dodgers (.254, 4th), Padres (.225, 12th) and Astros (.240, T-10th).

To put things in perspective, 2009 league average is .258, which would have been good enough for third best in the NL. In 1969, NL average was .250 -- meaning six teams in 2009 (including five which are at least .500) would have better hitting marks.

Clearly, hitters are better. So, what do pitchers have to do? Throw harder, more stressful pitches later in games. No longer can pitchers ease up when you get to the bottom of the order. Or save his bullets for a late-inning showdown with a team's heavy hitters.

The more a hitter sees a pitcher, the better a hitter knows the pitcher and his arsenal. And as the game goes on, velocity and movement tends to decrease. All of that spells doom for a fatiguing hurler down the stretch.

Why else do you think specialty pitchers have evolved in such ways? There is a reason managers would rather bring in a fire-throwing late-inning reliever rather than risk letting a fatiguing starter miss a spot and watch what was once a comfortable lead sail into the bleachers.

Managers and pitchers have sacrificed the art of the complete game for the bigger picture, which is winning ball games.

And in the end, isn't that all that matters?

How's your GM doing? Ken Williams Edition Part 1

I wanted to take a look at the job Chicago White Sox general manager Ken Williams has done since taking the position shortly after the squad won the AL Central in 2000.

It started off rather bumpy. Stupid trades were made. There were some horrible teams from 2001-2003 and the farm system was horse dung.

But the program righted ship towards the end of 2004, when groundwork was laid for the eventual World Series title in 2005 and subsequent solid teams in 2006, 2008 and while it's still early, 2009.

Despite the relative year-in-year-out success, Williams is still harshly criticized among fans and media alike for his wheeling and dealing mentality and his will to rip a farm system in half while getting fleeced in trades.

I've always maintained that Williams hardly ever "loses" in a deal but rather, if it doesn't come out in his favor, the trade didn't work out for either team. I point to the crappy farm system up until this year as one of the primary reasons for the latter.

In the early parts of Williams' career he attempted to acquire "big fish" with less than sexy results.

It started off with a trade for hefty Toronto Blue Jays starter David Wells. Wells was one of the top-15 pitchers in baseball to say the least at the time and Williams decided to bolster the rotation which folded in the playoffs by trading for him.

But Wells folded though an injury filled, sub-par season in his only year on the south side of Chicago.

People were up in arms at the time of the deal, trading away a "future ace" in Mike Sirotka and three other "prospects" for Wells.

This is one of the trades you chalk up to nobody winning as Sirotka blew out his arm immediately after the trade (quite possibly on the plane ride to Toronto). The three other prospects, along with Sirotka were never heard from again.

Can't really call that a loss on Williams' part though.

The next two years, he hit a rough patch. The trades for Todd Ritchie, Billy Koch and Jon Adkins were complete train wrecks.

People make a bigger deal out of the Ritchie one than they do about the Koch and Adkins one which blows my mind. Ritchie was acquired for two journeymen starting pitchers in my opinion and while he flamed out as bad as Koch and Adkins did, the bounty wasn't nearly as much.

Koch required Keith Foulke, a dominant closer at the time coming off a bad year. We don't need to be reminded of how bad Koch was. Adkins was a swap for second baseman Ray Durham, a fan favorite, but more importantly a Type-A free agent at the time.

It could have netted the White Sox to compensatory picks at the end of the year but then again, I never trusted the Pale Hose to make a decent draft pick.

In 2003, things started to turn around for Williams. Although the season ended in dissapointment with manager Jerry Manuel getting fired, the White Sox were at least competitive during a year they held the All-Star game.

Williams started the year off scooping up Bartolo Colon to be the staff ace for a bunch of nobody prospects that never amounted to anything. He also landed all-star slugger Carl Everett, ableit at an expensive cost of future Texas Rangers closer Franky Francisco. Williams also made a shrewd move in signing starter Esteban Loaiza, a man without any track record of success. Loaiza nearly won the Cy Young in 2003 and was shipped out in 2004 for Jose Contreras and a bag of cash with a dollar sign on it.

Genius.

The White Sox also landed a all-star at the end of the line (signature Williams move) in Robbie Alomar. While the second baseman didn't make a difference between contender and pretender he didn't cost anything in the sense of prospects.

Shortly after the 2003 season, Manuel was fired and replaced by Ozzie Guillen. In seperate deals in the offseason Aaron Miles and Matt Ginter were shipped out for Juan Uribe and Timo Perez.

Miles is having a decent career and Ginter has been a journeyman for a while but Uribe and Perez were both key contributors in 2004 and more importantly, 2005.

Midseason, Williams once again traded for Everett, this time for two solid bullpen pitchers but not stars. Everett offset the injuries to Frank Thomas during the White Sox championship season in 2005.

Ace Freddy Garcia was also acquired for prospects. Again, people were worried that Williams had given up too much in future "all-star" catcher Miguel Olivo and outfielder Jeremy Reed. Neither player given up in the deal turned into anything more than a solid second option.

Garcia? Well the rest is history. Big win for Williams here.

In the rare instance where a trade has worked out for both teams, lazy left fielder Carlos Lee was shipped to Milwaukee for his counterpart, Scott Podsednik. Both players performed well but Podsednik provided the spark Guillen's offense needed in 2005.

Tuesday, I'll take a look at the moves Williams made after winning the World Series in 2005.

So, Um, Which Is The Big Market Team Again?

Ben Nicholson-Smith had an interesting write-up over at MLBTradeRumors.com today, highlighting the 12 teams that took on salary at the non-waiver trade deadline.

Only one team added more than $5 million, and that was the Chicago Cubs St. Louis Cardinals. Bolstering what was once a mediocre line-up (outside of Albert Pujols) with Mark DeRosa at third base and Matt Holliday in left field added $6.6 million worth of payroll.

It makes me wonder about the Cubs, whose front office execs said they would be able to add big-name payroll before the season before apparently losing some money along the way en route to saying they can add marginal payroll at the deadline.

George Sherrill would be anice alternative to run out in the ninth rather than Kevin Gregg. He cost the Dodgers only $1 million. Nate McClouth seems to be the left-handed hitting outfielder Lou Piniella craved, and the Braves added him at a cost of $1.3 million. Adding a second baseman that doesn't suck (*cough*John*Baker*cough*) cost the Giants one of baseball's 50 best prospects -- and $2.1 million.

Heck, even the Brewers added $1.4 million worth of payroll when they dealt for Felipe Lopez.

My point is that the Cubs and their ownership need to make a plan, take a stand and stick with it.

The North Side Baseball club can be one of two things:

• A big spender. It worked well for them as the offseason spending sprees that preceded the 2007 & 2008 seasons helped bring a pair of division titles to Wrigley Field.
• A meddling middle market team, like most of the Cubs teams of the Tribune Co. generation.

Additions like John Grabow and Tom Gorzelanny, God bless their hearts, are for mid-market teams or teams that need a tweak to their roster.

The Cubs needed more than a tweak. They've gotten next to nothing offensively from the jokers playing second base, so Freddy Sanchez could have worked. Victor Martinez could have been a sweet addition behind the plate if Jim Hendry could have roofied conned Mark Shapiro into a deal. Oh, and Kevin Gregg sucks ... so who's to say that George Sherrill wouldn't have looked good in the ninth inning.

I remember when then-VP John McDonough (please come back!) vowed that the Cubs would compete with the Yanks & Sawks of the worlds when it came to adding payroll. They're closer to having an owner now than they were in 2007, yet they were more willing to add Rich Harden's salary last year than they were to add any salary this year.

And I still do not believe the Cubs couldn't afford to acquire Jake Peavy or Roy Hallday with approximately $13.92 million coming off the books next year.

The Cardinals, who have been known to avoid adding payroll as if it were the herp*, apparently have thrown caution to the win in an attempt to win another World Series title.

On the other hand, the Cubs and whoever is in charge over there are treating high salaries like it's chlamydia*.

* Denotes how sick I am of analogies to the plague. No one has the plague these days. It's all about STDs.

Coming Soon: Why Your Team Won't Beat Da Bears In The Super Bowl

Alright, so TBDS Late Night will be sidelined for about the next month as we attempt to preview the upcoming NFL season. But this isn't your ordinary, run-of-the-mill preview. Not by a long shot.

See, ever since the Chicago Bears acquired quarterback Jay Cutler from the Denver Broncos, I have been convinced that Da Bears were Super Bowl bound. And with each passing day, I've grown more and more confident, to the point where I am ready to hitch my bandwagon to Cutler's Kids and say:

THE CHICAGO BEARS ARE GOING TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL!

There, I said it. And yes, the all-caps was necessary here.

Yours truly will run down every team that will fall short of Super Bowl glory at the expense of Da Bears.

Despite Piniella's Stubbornness, Cubs Must Change Closer (Preferably Now)

Even Barack Obama thinks the Cubs need change in the closer's role.

The text message was simple: Kevin Gregg blows another save. But it could have ended with an even simpler message.

Kevin Gregg blows.

Gregg blew back-to-back saves in the Cubs' three-game set against the Florida Marlins. He picked up the win after blowing Saturday's game thanks to Derrek Lee's 10th inning homer, but was not as lucky in the series finale on Sunday.

After constant prodding by Breakfast For The Block big-foot Luke McCormick, I was ready to accept Gregg as the closer for the rest of the year, as he had converted his last 10 saves prior to Saturday's debacle. After Sunday, the love fest ends. If Lou Piniella wants to guide the Cubs to a third straight NL Central title, he needs to make a move in the closer's role.

Now.

In 14 July appearances, Gregg lowered his earned run average from 3.82 to 3.35. In two August appearances, that ERA has skyrocketed to 4.17 after giving up five runs on six hits, three of which were extra-base hits.

He leads all of major league relievers in home runs allowed (10). Of the 19 closers in baseball that have at least 20 saves, Gregg's WHIP (1.35) ranks third highest behind Matt Capps and Brad Lidge, each of whom have 1.79. His 4.17 ERA ranks fifth highest, as once again, Brad Lidge (7.11) leads the way.

It might not get better as this month progresses. Gregg owns a career ERA of 4.91, and last year, Gregg posted a 4.94 ERA after the All-Star Break.

Jake Fox, whose ninth inning homer should have been the game-winner if the Cubs had a competent closer, said he feels bad for Gregg, who he said has some "great stuff." Nick Swisher has some great stuff too, but I don't feel bad for him. Not in the least.

Former Florida Marlins teammate Dan Uggla, echoed Fox's sentiments.

"I've seen Gregg over the last few years and he's been as dominant as anybody."

Stop right there, Dan Uggla. Stop. Right. There.

Saying that Kevin Gregg has been as dominant as any closer in baseball is an insult to my intelligence. And anyone who nods in agreement with Uggla should be banished from baseball and forced to give sponge baths Bartolo Colon, CC Sabathia and Prince Fielder for the rest of their lives.

Nothing says "dominant" like a low-90s fastball with no movement and a slider that screams "hit me" as soon as it's released.

Then there's Piniella, who when asked if he should make a change in the closer's role, he responded, "Why should I?"

Why is a shake-up needed in the closer's spot? To put it in the most simplistic terms: He sucks. Lou, youv'e played musical chairs with your line-ups a billion times and it is finally paying off.

Alfonso Soriano (.339/.409/.644/1.053 since post-ASB) and Kosuke Fukudome (.365/.476/.538/1.015 post-ASB) have picked it up since shifting around in the order. And Fox has hit .297, slugged .626 and OPSed .956 in games he has started.

Change is necessary, and has proved to be good for Piniella's Cubs in the past. I don't understand why cool off his own hot hand when it comes to making a change in the most important role in the bullpen.

Carlos Marmol can't close right now, nor should he. Marmol has hit a NL-most 10 batters and has issued more free passes through 55 games (48) than he did last year in 82 games (41).

Angel Guzman has been the Cubs' best reliever, but lacks the experience. But let's be honest with each other, how much has Kevin Gregg's past experience as a closer helped the team?

Searching for an answer?

Don't worry, I'll wait.

Power Rankings: You Won't Find Kevin Gregg Here

Every week I write Power Rankings as I try to find a blog segment that sticks around for more than three posts. I think I might have found it here, which is another forum in which I can mock Phil Rogers.

1. Teases. Names like Roy Halladay, Felix Hernandez and Adrian Gonzalez were bandied around and all your team ended up with was Scott Rolen for four prospects. Your favorite team is the Cincinnati Reds, isn't it?

2. Jake Peavy. White Sox fans haven't been this excited about something that was a month away from coming since they were a month from paying off their meth-based debts.

3. Witch Hunts. David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez made "The List" and that's not necessarily a good thing. But Jose Canseco, the most reliable source when it comes to the Steroid Era, suggests a Hall of Famer was roided-up during his playing career. Cue Men At Work ... now!

4. Minor League Affiliates In Major League Cities. Grabow and Gorzelanny for three steaming bags of garbage. Thanks again, Pittsburgh.

5. Twitter. Where your status can please and tease -- but hopefully not spread disease.

6. Dick Jokes. Ha ha, this headline says "Wang."

7. The Buried Lead. The point crazy Uncle Milton was really trying to get across to the media and Jake Fox being a productive catcher were among the buried leads I found last week.

8. The STFU Award. LaTroy Hawkins still doesn't know when to shut his f'ing mouth.

9. Homerism. At its finest.

10. 0.5. That's not Tony LaRussa's BAC, but it's what seperates the Cubs and Cards.