Ten Guys The Chicago Cubs Should Avoid Like The Swine Flu

Baseball's winter meetings kicked off today in Chicago, meaning after Jim Hendry guzzles a dozen donuts this morning, he won't have too far to go to meet with someone who will gladly take Milton Bradley off his glaze-covered hands.

In the Hot Stove League, it is easy to write about who you want on your team.  But it takes a real keen eye to identify the guys you don't want around.  Over the past few years, Hendry has identified those guys ... and proceded to sign those guys on the Cubs.

Here are the guys he should avoid like the plague swine flu.


1. Mike Cameron, CF.  There was once a time where Cameron was among the best center fielders in baseball.  The three-time Gold Glove winner was always spectacular in the field, making routine plays and making difficult plays look routine.  At the plate, he was serviceable at best, but was usually a threat on the base paths. Cameron has three 30-steal seasons and five more years of at least 22 swipes under his belt.

Unfortunately, at age 36, those days are behind Cameron.  Yes, he still has some pop in his bat (24 home runs, .795 OPS) but I'm not quite sure that He's hit at least 20 HRs in each of the last four seasons.

2. Rick Ankiel.  This is what I said at the A League Of Her Own blog about this season's scariest players on the open market.

"I fear signing Rick Ankiel. Lefty hitter. Power at times. Knows the division. Plays all 3 OF spots. Sounds like a Jim Hendry signing to me."

I still feel that way today.  Ankiel had a breakout season in 2008, hitting 25 home runs and driving in 71.  His production took a dip in 2009 as he hit only 11 home runs and had 38 RBIs in 404 plate appearances.  Funny how this turns out.  Ankiel had 11 homers and 39 ribbies in 190 plate appearances in 2007.  If that's not a red flag, I don't know what is.  Oh yeah, that whole HGH thing Cardinals fans always seemingly forget about when it comes to their own players.

But BOOOOOOOO Manny Ramirez!

3. Brett Myers, SP/RP.  One could argue that Myers hit a pinnacle in 2007 when he saved his season, and possibly career, by moving into the bullpen.  Myers racked up 64 strikeouts in a little more than 53 innings pitched with a 1.200 WHIP, 2.87 earned run average and 21 saves.  On the other hand, one could argue that his biggest hit came on a woman.

Myers wants to be a starter, a role in which he has struggled with in a hitters haven such as Philadelphia.  Doesn't sound like someone you want to throw into the pressure cooker on Addison and Clark.

4. Mark DeRosa, 1B/2B/3B/OF.  I made my argument here for why the Cubs shouldn't bring DeRo Your Hero back to Chicago.  And if you want to bring in a guy who will be 35 next year and is coming off a season in which he posted a .250/.319/.433/.752 slash line on a multi-year, multi-million dollar deal then you should probably get your priorities in line.

5. Gary Matthews Jr., OF  Over the last three years, Gary Matthews Jr. has posted a .248/.326/.379/.705 slash line.  In that same time span, Milton Bradley has posted  a .294/.405/.501/.906 slash line.  If you would trade Milton Bradley for Gary Matthews Jr., you are clinically insane.

6. Doug Davis, SP.  I've heard plenty of Cubs fans who want Doug Davis on the 2010 Cubs to fill the role of inning-eating, back-of-the-rotation guy.  But really, I think Cubs fans want him because he has tortured the Cubs (9-6, 3.20 ERA, 1.159 WHIP) throughout his mediocre career.

The only team Davis has more wins and a lower ERA against is San Diego.  Think about that.

7. Oliver Perez, P  Can you believe the Pirates acquired this guy in exchange for with Jason Bay? (Ed. My bad.) I still want no part of this guy being on the 2010 Cubs.

8. Carlos Silva, P.  Do you want to know why the Seattle Mariners are a bad baseball team?  Because they gave this scrub a four-year deal worth $48 million.  No thanks.

9. Willy Taveras, OF.  A possible non-tender candidate, Taveras is fast.  His $4 million option will likely be declined.  Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown could spend $4 million on blow and I would still think it is a wiser investment than giving it to Willy-T. (possible non-tender)

10. Eric Byrnes, OF.  Total douchebag, which is cool if you're into that thing.  I'm not.  Two years ago, Byrnes hit .286/.353/.460/.813 with 21 home runs and 50 stolen bases.  Two years ago, George W. Bush was our president.  Sometimes things change.  Shit happens.

Honorable Mentions: Magglio Ordonez, Carlos Guillen, Vernon Wells, Aaron Rowand.

A Message To Jim Hendry

Ryan Dempster sucks. Kevin Gregg sucks. Aaron Heilman sucks.

Carlos Zambrano is on the DL. Rich Harden is behind schedule in joining him. Randy Wells is approaching the innings pitched danger zone as a rookie.


The Cubs have holes in the rotation and in the bullpen. Yet, there is apparently no interest from the Chicago Cubs in free-agent John Smoltz. But the Cardinals do.

All they would have to do is pay the pro-rated minimum.

That's it.

If they can't do that done because of "impending ownership change" then let's fold the tents over at Clark & Addison and contract the damn team.

Jim Hendry, you suck harder than all of the losers I mentioned in line one. If I was Tom Ricketts, I'd have a nice message waiting on your voicemail for you....

Today's Tease: Pedro Martinez To The Cubs?

While 300 wins is the benchmark in which crusty ol' elitist baseball folks judge starting pitcher, something has to be said for a pitcher that led all of baseball in ERA five times, strkeouts three times and WHIP six times, while also amounting has three Cy Young awards in the process.

And when that pitcher is available on the open market, there is no reason not to look at him. Who doesn't want a starting pitcher with 214 wins and a .689 winning percentage in the regular season and a 6-2 career postseason record?

Cubs fans, if you have stuck around long enough to get through the intro, you will notice I am not talking about Jake Peavy.

I'm talking about Pedro Martinez.

Nick Cafardo of the Boston Globe reports The (Sometimes) Jeri-Curled Gunslinger has recently worked out for the Cubs and Tampa Bay Rays, and that both teams are exploring the possibility of adding Martinez to their rosters.

For the Cubs, it would be an absolute steal. They wouldn't have to unload the farm and risk losing a prospect that actually happens to pan out in the process. And while the Cubs rotation isn't the team's biggest weakness, adding Pedro could facillitate a move to the bullpen for Randy Wells or (dare I suggest?) Rich Harden.

No need to worry about Harden's worrisome assortment of injuries if he's pitching one or two innings out of the bullpen. One could think of him as Trevor Hoffman circa the time he throw mid-90s fastballs to go along with that baffling Bugs Bunny change-up.

As for the Rays, they can screw off. They've got David Price, Matt Garza and Scott Kazmir, when healthy. Not to mention that they traded away Edwin Jackson (6-3, 2.24 ERA) for Matt Joyce's bat, which apparently still hasn't made its way from Detroit.

The North Side Nine needs a shake-up on that roster. Something that says "we want to win and want to do it now" while also saying "none of you f***stains have a job that is safe."

Signing Pedro Martinez does both.

The Jake Peavy Saga Continues

Billionaire Cubs fan Tom Ricketts is inching closer to officially becoming the owner of his childhood favorite team.

So with a new owner seemingly in tow, is it time for me to install a Jake Peavy countdown app to put on the sidebar under Twitter?

According to this mlb.com story, yes, and it is more likely to happen now than ever before.

But since I don't want to I won't. He hasn't earned it yet.

See, I refuse to totally give in to the rumor monster who somehow, someway linked the Cubs as a potential suitor for the 2007 NL Cy Young winner to the point where GM Jim Hendry inquired about his availability. Then had the nerve to get so close to a deal, it bothered Cubs fans when it fell through.

It was like the Brian Roberts Situation, but instead of being secluded, he reportedly sang "Go Cubs Go" and signed "Go Cubs" on an autographed baseball.

That's where this crazy plotline is interesting. It is almost as if the Peavster is as hell bent on joining the Cubs as their fans are on having him.

I've heard of requests for Peavy replica Cubs jerseys to be made. I've seen profile pics with Peavy photoshopped with a Cubs hat and Cubbie blue pinstripes.

And for the millionth time, I am sick and tired of writing blogposts about nothing in particular.

Rumors. Whispers. Hearsay. All of it has dominated this blog when it relates to Jake Peavy.

And I'm tired of it.

Look, I want him on the Cubs. Cubs fans want him on the Cubs. He wants to be on the Cubs. Jim Hendry apparently wants him on the Cubs. And Kevin Towers wants to oblige and send him to the Cubs.

And if all it takes is a handful of prospects ... it's time to pull the trigger.

Our long national nightmare must end soon.

B-Diddy to G-State again?: Former teammate Steven Jackson thinks a Baron Davis reunion tour could happen. "That's all we talked about," Jackson said. "I went to his house, spent some time with his mom and his grandmother. He wants to come back. And if he wants to come back, I want him back. ... I think that would be great for us," Jackson said. "Coach (Don Nelson) loves him. Him and (guard) Monta (Ellis) have good chemistry. If they could work that out, that would be great for the organization."

This seems to go against what like The Baron told us 11 days ago after the Clippers beat the Pacers in double overtime on Dec. 19.

By the way, just my opinion: Baron, Camby, Randolph, Gordon > S-Jax, Uh-Oh Maggette-Oh and injured Monta Ellis even though the records would indicate otherwise.

Reunited, and it won't feel good for Wood

Dusty Baker congratulates Kerry Wood on a job well done after throwing 159 pitches in six innings

It looks as if Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker wants to finish what he started five years ago.

Baker managed the 2003 Chicago Cubs to a National League Central Division championship and within five outs of the pennant as starting pitchers Kerry Wood and Mark Prior were abused like a rented mule or white powder in the Bobby Brown household.

Either way, one could argue that Baker's abuse of a pair of aces damaged the Cubs' chance of winning during his time at the helm. Yet, that's not stopping him from wanting to reunite with his former wounded ace.

"We have a closer already in [Francisco] Cordero, who we have under contract for a few more years," Baker said Monday. "But somebody can use Kerry Wood. I am going to call him. I like Kerry Wood as a person, not just as a ballplayer, but as a person. I will give him a call and see what's up."

I don't believe it. Dusty, if you liked Wood as a person then why did you use him so much to the point his arm turned into spaghetti towards the end of your tenure in Chicago. I hope Kerry has caller ID and turned away as soon as he saw 'Baker, Dusty' pop up.

Could you imagine the voicemail?

"Hey dude, it's Dusty. Remember, we used to be cool in the Chi? Anyway I was wondering if you wanted to play in Cincinnati. You know, white people love Cincinnati because it's really in Kentucky. Call me back, dude."

And to be honest, I'm not sure how Baker could work up the nerve to say he liked Woody as a ball player. It's tough to make a judgement like that when said player pitched only one healthy season under your watch.

Thankfully, Wood has a guardian angel. A shocking one at that in Reds GM Walt Jocketty, who once held the same position with the rival St. Louis Cardinals.

Jocketty squashed Baker's dreams of putting an end to Wood's career once and for all.

"It would be pretty tough with (Francisco) Cordero as our closer," Jocketty said. "I love (Wood's) talent. But I imagine there are going to be offers out there for him to close."

I never thought I'd see the day a former Cardinal looked out for the well-being of a soon-to-be former Cub. But it came. I guess the apocalypse is closer than I thought.

Photo Credit: Tribune.com Sports

Out goes Wood, in comes Johnson?

All dirty jokes aside, I laughed a little insde when I heard that the Chicago Cubs were interested in adding Randy Johnson to the starting rotation.

Yes, that Randy Johnson.

The Big Unit. The angriest looking motherf*cker in the history of baseball. He of the 13-0 record against the Cubs, including a perfect 4-0 mark at Wrigley Field.

If Johnson were to join the Cubs, I would doubt his dominance at the Friendly Confines had a strong chance to continue. He wouldn't be facing Cub hitters. However, he'd make a nice back-of-the-rotation guy and veteran presence.

But, in the grand scheme of things, it would be another classic example of how Tribune Co. runs things. When Johnson was a free agent in his prime, the Cubs had absolutely no interest in the Unit because they weren't willing to increase payroll. Notice that I emphasized "willing."

Now, as Johnson enters the twilight of his career as he approaches the 300-win milestone, the Cubs want to handsomely pay a 45-year-old lefty starter.

Nowadays, it seems that's all the Cubs want to do: Throw money at their problems.

And while it might work in the dating world, I'm not quite sure it will work in baseball.
(See NY Yankees circa 2002-present)

But that's a whole other can of worms that don't need to be opened today. I just thought I'd throw out some food for thought for ya.

But while we're at it, maybe the Cubs should add Ken Griffey Jr. to play right field, he's a free agent. I wonder what that Alex Rodriguez kid is doing these days.

Photo Credit: cnnsi.com