On the matter of collusion

Major League Baseball is looking into why players such as Barry Bonds and Kenny Lofton remain unsigned. I doubt there is collusion involved because it's really easy to see why none of these players are being signed. Here's the list ESPN compiled:Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Kenny Lofton, Jose Mesa, Mike Piazza, Sammy Sosa, David Wells.

Could collusion be a possibility in Bonds' case? Absolutely. I doubt that's the case and it is easy to see why. Sure Bonds would be a great fit for a team looking for a designated hitter but why would any team want that baggage? For as long as we've known him, Bonds has been described as nothing short of a jagbag in the clubhouse so why would any team want to bring him in? He loves to have the attention on him but if I could make certain he was willing to change I'd roll the dice.

In Clemens' case we have to consider the legal issues. I'm not even sure he wants to come back, either. He wasn't too sharp in his return last season and he pulled in a ton of cash. Doesn't sound like collusion to me.

Lofton is an interesting situation. He was never tied to any performance-enhancing drugs but yet finds himself on the outs. Same goes for Wells. Neither put up dazzling numbers in their last season but both are good enough to be considered on bad teams right now. The only explanation I can think of is a quote from the doorman in "Knocked Up".

Doorman: "You old, she pregnant...can't have a buncha old, pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy. I'm only allowed to let in 5% black people. He said that, that means if there’s 25 people here I get to let in 1 1/4 black people. So I gotta hope there’s a midget in the crowd."

That's about the only way I can sum things up. Also on the subject of Wells, another quote from "Knocked Up" may get him a job, eventually.

E! News Executive: "Oh, no, we're not asking you to lose weight. That would be illegal. We just want you to be healthy! So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah."

- Hartwig