Stat Boy Speaks: Hey Manny, You Owe Me A NLCS Appearance

Last year at this time, the Chicago Cubs were cruising right along toward a 97-win season and home field advantage throughout the National League playoffs.  They were on a collision course with the Los Angeles Dodgers, who were being sparked by Manny Ramirez's .396/.489/.743/1.232 line.

And as Stat Boy will present to you, what a difference a year can make.

TBDS Late Night: Manny Ramirez Returns

I'm not going to bore you with a Manny shot. Here's hottie (and Dodger fan/baseball enthusiast) Alyssa Milano via Chickipedia. I know I'm not the only guy out there that finds a pretty girl with a baseball glove to be attractive.

A long time ago in a blogosphere far, far away, this blogging outfit presented a feature called TBDS Late Night which reported on late-breaking news and provided games to watch for and links to read at your own peril. Once in a while, yours truly will revive that segment when necessary.

This is one of those times.

The Los Angeles Dodgers welcome the return of All-Star outfielder Manny Ramirez from his 50-game drug suspension, much to the chagrin of L.A. Times columnist Bill Plaschke. The Dodgers went 28-21 in Ramirez's absence as Juan Pierre starred in left field and the bats of youngsters Matt Kemp and James Loney rose to the occasion in ManRam's stead.

And yet, in the 50 games Ramirez was gone, no one was able to pass, let alone catch, the Dodgers. The San Francisco Giants are 7.5 games out of first, but are still one big bat short of being a real threat to Joe Torre's bunch.

The return of Ramirez makes me wonder if the Dodgers are now the team to beat in the National League.

The Cubs were favored to win the NL Central for the third straight year, but faceplanted coming out of the gate and really have not been able to find the "Cubbie Swagger" that has eluded the team since last September. The Mets have so many injuries, they're one step away from having an entire farm system on speed dial and on a direct flight to New York City. And the Phillies have the highest starter's earned run average in the senior circuit.

Meanwhile the Dodgers seemingly have the perfect mix of youthful exuberance and veteran know-how to get something done not only in the NL West, but in the entire league.

But they will only go as far as the beautiful Alyssa Milano will go. Somewhere, Dodger fans hope she goes all the way.

Quality Linkage:

• The 24 hours of Independence Day. [Made Men]
• Athletes who drank their American haterade. [Deadspin]
• Kissing Suzy Kolber's sexy tribute to the 4th of July. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• The history of fireworks in 60 seconds. [Asylum]
• The Celtics are looking for a few good (looking) women for their dance team. [SportsByBrooks]
• Eastbound and Down, coming to a DVD set near you. [Netflix]
  

Manny Being Mommy? Ramirez allegedly busted with fertility drug

I'm a busy man, but I needed to bust in with that headline before someone took it. (Probably already done.)

I've always wondered why people who take Viagra and Enzyte don't get the cold shoulder for taking "performance enhancing drugs" in the bedroom. It's the same concept right?

Take it away, Yahoo! Sports:

"Testosterone and similar drugs are effective for erectile dysfunction in that they jazz up your sex drive,” said Charles Yesalis, a professor at Penn State who has testified before Congress on issues of performance-enhancing drugs. “But far more clinicians accept that affect with Viagra and Cialis. It’s hard for me to understand if it was erectile dysfunction why they would use it."

And kudos to ESPN for doing what the self-proclaimed World Wide Leader in sports is supposed to do. No gimmicks. No bull. Straight reporting. Love it.

"[T]wo sources told ESPN's T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is HCG -- human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle. It is similar to Clomid, the drug Bonds, Giambi and others used as clients of BALCO."

As for who's next to get busted, my guess is porn stars, who will then ask for a federal bailout for their industry.

Report: Manny Ain't Gonna Be Manny For The Next 50 Games

According to the Los Angeles Times, Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez will be treated to a 50-game suspension, which starts immediately, after reportedly testing positive for performance enhancing drugs. And while people will focus on the void Ramirez will leave in the Dodgers' line-up, it's time to talk about the grand scheme of things.

If you work for the Dodgers' marketing or public relations department, you're gonna start earning your paycheck as your new job is to spin a positive PED test for the team's most popular and marketable player. There is no doubt Ramirez is the face of the Dodgers ... and now that face has a black eye.

Then, if you're Major League Baseball, is this a good day or a bad day for your sport. "The System" is finally working, as "The System" has finally netted a big fish during the guts of the season. On the other hand, there goes one of baseball's most recognizable faces taking the walk of shame. Bud Selig must be utterly confused.

Through a source, The L.A. Times reports Ramirez will likely "attribute the test results to medication received from a doctor for a personal medical issue." This was confirmed by Ramirez's agent Scott Boras via ESPN's Peter Gammons.

For Manny's sake, here's hoping it's not Dr. Yuri Sucart.

Now, from this point forward will whatever Jose Canseco says be treated as gospel?

A Midwinters Morning Dream: Manny a Cub

Manny Ramirez has never been angry enough to throw a bottle into the crowd.

He's never injured himself after getting ejected for arguing with an umpire.

Milton Bradley has.

And he's got a three-year contract.

So it begs the question: why doesn't Manny Ramirez have a job?

All he's done is hit. A lot. He hit .396 with 17 homers ... in 53 games against NL pitchers. Despite his lackluster defense, Manny is a game-changing figure at the plate and an anchor in the middle of the order. He's a transcendent talent who shines in October.

Yet, he remains unsigned.

Meanwhile, the Cubs are trying to figure out where to bat Bradley, who fit the description of left-handed stick the Cubs pined for this offseason.

Too bad Manny doesn't bat from the other batter's box, he'd probably be a Cub right now.

Heck, the Cubs are trying to figure out what to do as a team. Adding Ramirez could shift Alfonso Soriano to right field or back to his original position, second base.

And while the Cubs' team defense would suffer over a 162 game season, I say defense be damned.

Bring Mannywood to the Midwest.

Manny Money Madness

Free agent outfielder Manny Ramirez can sit there and pout all he wants.

$25 million is a lot of frickin' money.

The enigmatic outfielder who feasted on National League pitching after being traded to the L.A. Dodgers is still without a contract as baseball teams get closer and closer to the start of Spring Training. And while most media types will blame his extreme contract demands, his jerk of an agent and the fear that he'll tank as soon as he is unhappy as reasons why he stands unsigned there is only one reason I will approve.

And no, it's not the economy.

It's because he's selfish.

I'm not sure what's worse: declining a guaranteed $45 million over two years or this transgression in which he turned down a guaranteed $25 million for one year. Either way, Man-Ram is making this generation look bad.

Busta Rhymes is rapping about "Arab Money" in an economy that is sinking faster than a bowling ball in a kiddie pool. Akon is crooning on an R&B track that he is so paid while people out there are struggling to keep their jobs and when they are keeping their jobs, scraping up enough money to support their family.

Meanwhile, a man who plays a kids game has the nerve to reject a $25 million gift to hit a ball 500 feet and play piss-poor defense.

Where can I sign up?

There's no wonder every baseball season my mother sits me down and tells me about the good ole days in which pitchers threw complete games every three days and worked at the local grocery store or on their parents' farm in the offseason.

Let's get real Manny. If you don't want to make millions upon millions upon millions to work from April to October and fail 70 percent of the time in the process, that's fine.

Go work on Ugueth Urbina's Venezuelan farm and see how you like it.

What, too soon?

Manny Ramirez: you're a jerk (and a joke) [Juiced Sports Blog]