Stat Boy Learns That Pitchin' Ain't Easy

So much has been written about the Cubs' lack of hitting, that sometimes people overlook the guys on the bump.  To the naked eye, it looks like the Cubs got waxed in their three-game set against the Cardinals.  But to the wise observer, the Cubs starters should be showered with praise after handcuffing one of baseball's best offenses.

Cubs starters Ted Lilly, Ryan Dempster and Carlos Zambrano combined to eat up 21.2 innings over the weekend.  That's $37.75 million worth of starting pitching earning their respective paychecks.  Lilly and Big Z each allowed two earned runs, while Dempster only allowed one -- on the Brendan Ryan home run with the assist from Bobby Scales' mitt.  The trio's collective WHIP over the weekend  was 1.037.

Those are the kinds of numbers that pitching coaches dream about seeing.  Too bad Larry Rothschild won't get any credit for this.  It's safe to assume that had Dave Duncan been working with this bunch, Teddy, Demp and Big Z would have thrown 27 innings of perfect ball.

More drool-inducing numbers after the jump.

Ryan Dempster's Misfortune Is Hilarious

(Image Credit: The Trib)

From a franchise that has seen pitchers injured by hot tubs, right fielders hit the DL because of a sneeze and other countless acts that invoke the phrase "That's So Cub" ... Ryan Dempster's fall and subsequent toe injury represents another ho-hum day at the ballpark.

And talk about product placement, State Farm was actually there. (Shout out to my agent David Hickey on Belmont Ave.)

So, Roy Halladay, Jake Peavy or Pedro Martinez is coming to save this ballclub, right? Nope. Try Kevin Hart. And no, not the comedian. Though it would be fitting for a class clown like Dempster.

Dempster DL'd

Yeah, Ryan, I'd hide my face in shame too if I were you.

Nothing like finding out your $52 million starting pitcher is out 4-6 weeks via a trash-talking tweet.

Either way, Ryan Dempster has been placed on the 15-day DL. Dempster's explanation, via The Trib:

"Sunday after the game I was coming out of the dugout and stepping over the top of the railing there, I was sitting up on the ledge, and I caught my left foot on the rail as I was coming over and it just spun me around and slammed me into the ground. When I did it, I thought I just ripped my nail back on my foot. Unfortuinately, the result wasn't very funny. If you ask Derrek Lee, he thought it was pretty funny, because the first person I saw when I looked up was D-Lee, and he was laughing. I'm sure it looked hysterical from his angle.

"The unfortunate part was my foot, I guess just the way it hit- it came down straight into the ground. Came into the clubhouse and my toenail was ripped back and it was bleeding, and then I thought that was pretty much the end of it, thought I'd just tape it up."

The thing that gets me about this is that it distracts me from the real Cub-related news, which is Chicago native Marc Utay's last-ditch effort to steal the Cubs from Tom Rickett's.

More on that on TBDS Late Night.

As for the on-field news, whether it's annoying Harry Caray impersonations, shaving cream pies to the face or walking everybody and anyone in a road uni in Game 1 of the NLDS, Dempster has been a joke. But this time, it isn't funny.

Maybe this will open the door for a Jake Peavy Roy Halladay trade?

OK, I'll settle for Pedro Martinez.

Dempster Breaks Toe Celebrating Win [Chicago Tribune]

BREAKING: Ryan Dempster selected as Game 1 starter

When you go 17-6 with a 2.99 ERA for the Chicago Cubs, you get to date girls like Marisa Miller.

Somebody dial up Big Z, just to make sure he's OK.

Did somebody do that yet? OK, we can move on.

Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella named Ryan Dempster to start Game 1 of the NLDS.

No, Dempster didn't get the nod because he has some incriminating pictures of Sweet Uncle Lou, he got the nod because he's 14-3 at Wrigley Field with a 2.86 ERA in 20 starts.

He's only 3-3 with a respectable 3.22 ERA in 12 road starts.

By the way, that brings the former closer's 2008 season to 17-6 with a 2.99 ERA. Not bad for a guy everyone wanted run out of town before the season started.

Piniella obviously understands the importance of home field advantage, especially since the Cubs have a league best 55 home wins. He also understands that Carlos Zambrano has been f*cking up since his no-no against the Houston Astros.

I'll be honest, I wasn't surprised by the move. In fact, I support it. Dempsters dominance at home combined with El Toro's recent struggles makes it a perfect choice.

I expect the move to light a fire under Big Z. Last time someone questioned his health, he didn't allow a hit.

According to the linked Chicago Sun-Times story, Zambrano said he wouldn't mind starting Game 3 on the road.

That means Rich Harden in Game 2, right?

Only time will tell.

Good call, Lou.

Piniella selects Dempster as Game 1 starter. [Chicago Sun-Times]