TBDS Late Night: Where Jerking Off The Baseball Happens

Keeping TBDS Late Night brief as changes are forthcoming.

This is audio of Phillies broadcaster, and former Cubs hitting instructor Gary Matthews Sr., who gives baseball players (and young men, for that matter) some interesting advice.

You should remember this as you pregame for what will likely be an awfully Thirsty Thursday.



(via Awful Announcing)

Oh, Missy You Tease

Well, I'm hooked. All signs point to a new recruit coming in, but who knows what it could be.

Pat Summitt or Geno Auriema as an assistant? Candace Parker forgoing the WNBA for one more year of eligibility at Southern Illinois?

Too bad former coach Dana Eikenberg isn't on Twitter. It seems like she has fallen off the face of the earth since Mario Moccia announced her resignation once upon an April afternoon.

(via @SIUCoachTiber)

Report: Big Papi Was On The Big PED List

Here's a thought: The NYT should sell the 2003 PED list to the highest bidder to save the newspaper industry.

Move over Detox. Move over Blueprint 3. This year's biggest release might not come from either of you -- or anyone in the music industry, for that matter. I think it's time for the New York Times to release the entire 106-player positive test list.

Yes, I'm writing this partially because David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez each had their name dropped on this list by a report in New York Times. But also, because it's getting annoying to have this list leak one-by-one. Every time another name gets leaked, it just proves to be even more evidence that someone is just screwing with us.

Heck, if I'm the NYT and I want to save journalism, I'd sell that list to the highest bidder. Is it ethical? Hell no. As a journalist, I know better. But I also know that the world of journalism needs a savior like the Washington Nationals need -- well -- an entirely new team.

I'm also bothered by the notion that a good chunk of PED users have been Latino baseball players. This 2005 San Francisco Chronicle article details part of the matter, but it makes me wonder what some of these agents are telling these young ball players.

How easy could it be for a slimey agent to sell a lavish lifestyle as a Major Leaguer at the expense of the sanctity of the game? How easy would it be for said agent to suggest that steroids could rescue a youngster and his family from a life of poverty in developing country?

I won't justify cheating -- even though it was technicaglly legal at the time. But I will express my disappointment.

BREAKING NEWS: The Pirates Are Rebuilding -- Again!

There hasn't been much to clap about for the Pittsburgh Pirates since Barry Bonds got BALCO'd up and moved out west!

Why are the Pittsburgh Pirates so bad every year, yet, every year they have a handful of players contending teams covet?

That is the hard question no one seems to be asking about the perennial NL Central cellar dwellars, who began their yearly firesale early this season when they traded future Hall of Famer All-Star outfielder Nate McLouth to the Atlanta Braves. Since then, they have jettisoned former ace Ian Snell along with three-fourths of their starting infield as first baseman Adam LaRoche, second baseman Freddy Sanchez and shortstop Jack Willson have since been jettisoned to teams that consider themselves contenders.

It won't be long until John Grabow, Zach Duke and Tom Gorzelanny each find new homes outside of the greater Pittsburgh area after July 31.

The Pirates' ineptitude dates back to their terrible drafts. In 1985, they drafted Barry Bonds, who turned out to be a pretty decent ball player. Pre-BALCO Bonds led Pittsburgh to some pretty good years ... and a cameo spot in the hit movie Rookie of the Year. I've still never been able to confirm it, but being struck out by teenager Henry Rowengartner (50 second mark in accompanying YouTube video) might have pushed Bonds to be a PED pusher.

I guess the world will never know.

But the world does know about the Pirates' lame-duck drafts since drafting Jason Kendall in 1992. Notables include Kris Benson (1996) is known more for his hot wife, J.J. Davis (1997), who was a dy-no-mite! bust. More notable are some of the guys the Pirates passed over when selecting what has turned out to be a real-life "Major League III" movie.

In 1994 they passed on Nomar Garciaparra, Paul Konerko and Jason Varitek to draft Mark Farris. They probably would have been better off drafting Anna Faris. When they drafted Chad Hermansen in 1995 with the No. 11 pick, they could have drafted some guy named Roy Halladay, who went No. 17 to the Toronto Blue Jays. Lance Berkman was on the board in 1997 when Pittsburgh picked Davis.

This list could go on for days. And I stopped in 1997. Guys they've passed on since the 2000s began include Adam Wainwright (29th overall), B.J. Upton in 2002 (2nd overall), John Danks in 2003 (9th overall -- one pick after selecting Paul Maholm).

Despite the Pirates' drafting dilemmas, GM Neal Huntington should be commended for turning Snell, Sanchez, Wilson, LaRoche and McClouth into 11 warm bodies.

But unless the rest of the Pirates organization gets it together, it won't be long until guys like Andrew McCutcheon, Brad Lincoln, Daniel Moskos and Pedro Alvarez are the next names to be put into the firesale.

SIte News: TBDS Under Construction

Slaves Construction workers are helping re-tool this site.

As I have tried to re-tool this site to make it more visually appealing, yours truly has ran into some problems. But it's cool, because the problems are mostly on my end. So while I take a bit of a breather as I try to straighten some things out, you might get some posts from this sites other bloggers.

Or a dumbed-down version of what I want to write extensive prose about. Oh well, until I get everything straightened out ... (And by "I", I mean my trusty Web expert) ... I won't be fully back up and running.

Until then, enjoy Men at Work.

Memo To Jim Hendry: I Found Your Left-Handed Bat

There's a firesale in Cleveland. Everything must go. Except for LeBron James, of course. He's not leaving until next year.

Mark DeRosa, Rafael Betancourt, Ryan Garko and Cliff Lee have escaped the Mistake By The Lake -- and that means Victor Martinez should be next. At this rate, if I were Cubs GM Jim Hendry, I'd at least make a call about center fielder Grady Sizemore and see if you can strike while the stove is hot.

But my focuse right now just might be on the 30-year-old catcher that will make what remains on the $4.5 million left on this year's contract and the $7 million on next years. He would look fine sandwiched between Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. (No homo.)

Yes, I understand the Cubs have Geovany Soto coming back from injury soon, but why not build the trade around him? Switch-hitting catchers whose career batting average sits at a cool .297 don't grow on trees.

Geo, cash considerations and friends for V-Mart. Get it done, Jimbo!

Wang Currently Disabled, Heads To DL (So Do These Kinds Of Headlines)

Hasn't this dude ever heard of Extenze? I'm pretty sure his girlfriend isn't going to be happy with this latest development.


Video duration 38 seconds? Finish the joke as you may.

Once Upon A Time, Even Wrestling Laughed At Mark McGwires (Alleged) Steroid Use

The funniest video you'll see all day. (Via The Big Lead)

Unless, of course, you live in, are from or are a friend, fan or associate of St. Louis or the Cardinals baseball organization.

Flaming Cards hat ... Pretty much sums up St. Louis, doesn't it?

More on Josh Fields

First off, Luis' comment on Upper Iowa University was flat out wrong. He's just bitter that "former Saluki great" Dion Coopwood went there first before transferring to Southern Illinois.

Now onto something slightly less ridiculous.

Josh Fields wants out of the Chicago White Sox organization. We know, we know, it worked for Brian Anderson.

But you can't fix bad. Bad being an inability to hit belt-high mid-90's fastballs.

Check that, it's REAL bad.

That's the scouting report on Fields: feed him fastballs in on his hands and watch him whiff.

Clearly, there's some potential here, more so than was the case with Anderson. Fields had a great year in 2007 on a bad team besides an obscene amount of strikeouts.

But that was his rookie year.

If you can believe it, the rest of the league figured out the belt-high fastball weakness and exploited the hell out of it.

Imagine that!

Sadly, Fields never adjusted back and coupled his poor defense with poor hitting make him an awful candidate for a starting third base job which he held on to longer than he should have with Gordon Beckham waiting in the wings.

In reality, Fields should have been sent to Triple-A a long time ago because he rarely plays and that's only hindering his progress. But at the current time, there isn't anywhere for him to play regardless of the fact that outfielder DeWayne Wise still has a job despite his sub-.200 average.

I just found it hilarious that Fields complained about his playing time earlier in the season when he was hitting .220-ish with terrible defense. It's sort of like the same thing Nick Swisher did last year and it bought him a ticket out of town.

The situation of selling low on both Swisher and Anderson before was shocking in a sense of how low they sold on them (basically getting nothing in return). Although Anderson didn't have much value I thought Swisher did.

But in the case with Swisher and to a certain extent, pitcher Javy Vazquez, it was a straight salary dump.

Would both of those players had a spot on this season's team? Sure, but the poor attitudes sealed their trip out the door.

Swisher brought absolutely nothing back in return as the centerpiece of that deal, Jeff Marquez, barely looks like a Triple-A player. At least in the case of Vazquez, the White Sox netted a future backstop in Tyler Flowers.

But selling as low on Fields as they did on both Vazquez and Swisher is a stupid move for the club because Fields doesn't cost anything and still has options left.

He wants to be traded? Too bad. Let him figure his stuff out first in Triple-A and then worry about it. Why do we care about his feelings? Why should the front office?

If he wants to be traded make him up his value in Triple-A first so the White Sox don't deal him for a LOOGY or a non-impact player for a potentially non-existent stretch run.

In Anderson's case, there were no "flashes" but I think there still might be a future for Fields on this team if he can show the 2007 wasn't a fluke by figuring out the hole in his swing.

After that promising year, during one game which White Sox broadcaster Steve Stone compared him to being on the same track as Milwaukee Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun (WHOOPS!), Fields tanked after a leg injury and psychological pressure.

There still might be hope so don't sell low unless he's out of options.

So, Tell Me Again Why Does Josh Fields Want To Get Traded?

Rumors floated around yesterday not involving Roy Halladay involved Chicago White Sox third baseman Josh Fields, proving to me there are other players on the trading block. It wasn't too long ago when Fields' name being tossed around the rumor mill in association with a blockbuster trade.

And maybe, it still could be.

Joe Cowley of the Chicago Sun-Times reports that Fields has asked to be traded. And while the once-prized prospect who was supposed to make South Side fans forget about Joe Crede has been usurped by Gordon Beckham, I am hardpressed to find a reason to want out of Chicago.

(Well, other than having to drive through the South Side at night, of course.)

His numbers are disappointingly underwhelming, batting .220 with a .301 on-base percentage while slugging .354. It looks like the Louisville Slugger he once carried to the plate in 2007, when he hit 23 home runs, drove in 67 runs and slugged .480, has turned into a wet newspaper overnight.

(And no, I'm not going to make a "nobody reads newspapers anymore" joke.)

Had Fields played his cards right, he could have re-emerged as an option at third base if manager Ozzie Guillen shifted Alexei Ramirez to second base and moved Beckham to shortstop.

Could the former prospect need a change of scenery, perhaps? It's possible. But to me, it looks like he needs a change in plate discipline (71 strikeouts in 71 games/251 plate appearances) more than anything.