Those who can't be Rams, become Lions

There is a saying in the education business (that I may or may not be privy to) that says 'Those who can't do, teach; and those that can't teach, teach gym.'

The NFL has its own saying. 'Those who cannot make it as a St. Louis Ram, make it as a Detroit Lion.'

Today's news out of Detroit reveals that former St. Louis head coach Scott Linehan has been tapped to run the Lions' offense, making it the second time in the last three seasons an ex-Rams head coach has gone on to coach at one of the few NFL franchises more pitiful than the Rams.

Mike Martz was given the offensive coordinator's position in 2006 after his dysfunctional relationship with St. Louis' front office finally resulted in a divorce.

Linehan was fired by St. Louis after he lost four consecutive games to open the 2008 season. Linehan was hired to replace the estranged Martz. Now, Linehan has apparently took a play from Martz's playbook and thought Detroit a good place to start.

The Lions recorded the NFL's first perfect 0-16 record last season, so obviously Linehan is being set up for success in this job post (blatant sarcasm). But he will get a crack to make some noise with the first pick in this year's NFL Draft.

But Linehan has been in this position before. The Rams had the 13th overall pick in the 2007 NFL Draft and selected defensive lineman Adam Carriker. The Rams went on to a 3-13 record, although let the record show that the team had inspiring wins against the Atlanta Falcons (2007 version, not 2008) and the San Francisco 49ers.

After Linehan's tumultuous second season with St. Louis,
he was again given the grace of a premiere draft position. The coach took Chris Long, who very well may become a good player for the Rams down the road.

However, that team went an even worse 2-14, which is obviously enough to get you a gig with the Lions.

Taking a look at the Lions' offense, Linehan should have some weapons to work with.

Kevin Smith recorded nearly 1,000 rushing yards in his rookie season and rushed for eight touchdowns. And Calvin Johnson has emerged as one of the top receivers in the league. If Johnson was on a solid team, he would be one of the best.

Quarterback remains an issue for the Lions, but that could be addressed with the draft pick. Detroit could select USC's Mark Sanchez or Georgia's Matthew Stafford.

So potential is there for the Lions' offense to become solid. But do we really think Linehan will turn it around. This is a guy that could barely lead a Rams offense that has Steven Jackson and Torry Holt.

So let's just keep this in mind and start scouting ways that newly-hired Rams head coach Steve Spagnuolo can help the Lions. I mean after Linehan fixes the offense, I'm sure Detroit will be looking for some help with its defense.

Remember, those who can't be Rams, become Lions. And those who can't even be Lions, become Lions coordinators.

May I have your attention please

I think I may have found the best name in baseball while I was looking up information for another preview story.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/k/kuntzru01.shtml

Tom Ricketts just put Tribune Co. in the black

The Tribune Co. has held the Chicago Cubs and their fans for 28 years.

Their reign of terror is over.

Billionaire Tom Ricketts, who grew up a Cubs fan and met his wife in the Wrigley Field bleachers, has purchased the Cubs for a whopping $900 (pinky finger to the edge of my lip) MILLION DOLLARS!

So, finally, the Cubs and their fans have a face instead of a corporate building downtown to relate to. They have someone who cares about the team as much as they do. That's nice. Now go win a pennant.

Let the record show that Ricketts paid $879.5 million more than the Tribune did when they bought the team back when dinosaurs, 8-tracks and polyester ruled the world.

There are a few things that really heighten my interest in this story.

Numero uno: When you spend $900 million on purchasing the baseball team, how can you go about affording the day-to-day baseball team stuff. You know? Free agents. Taxes. A hot dog at the ball park. I have a problem spending money on beers, hot dogs and more beers at a game. How can someone not flinch at the idea of spending $900 on an entire franchise?

I guess it pays to be rich.

Numero dos: Tom Ricketts is a Cubs fan ... is that a good thing? Will he be willing to throw money at the Cubs as if he was PacMan Jones and the Cubs were his personal strippers? Does he care? Is he going to lead the Cubs to the promiseland?

Numero tres: Will he introduce me to my wife in the bleachers? Dear God I hope so.

Numero quatro: Did Tom Ricketts just save Tribune Co.? Seriously, when you get $900 million for a baseball team, shouldn't that take you out of the red? I think so. Because I know if the DE just added $900 million after selling a baseball team, we would be good for the next ... oh ... 900 million years!

Maybe we should buy the Miners.

To the East we go: The Washington Nationals Preview

After an admirable effort to lure first baseman Mark Teixera, the Washington Nationals are in relatively the same place as the 2008 season.

Stuck in neutral.

They have one of the lowest payrolls in baseball and general manager Jim Bowden wasn't opposed to adding it for the right piece but with so little talent all around, the question asks where should he begin?

The rotation is chock-full of guys you've probably never heard of and if you have heard of them, you know they stink.

Scott Olsen, he of an 8-11 record in 2008, is the no. 1 starter in the rotation be default. Perhaps even more terrifying is the fact that Baltimore Orioles castoff Daniel Cabrera may be the guy slated at the two spot. Cabrera was hilariously close to a 1-1 strikeout to walk ratio in 2008 with 95 strikouts and 90 walks.

John Lannan may be the most respectable starter of this bunch with a 3.91 ERA in 2008 but he couldn't find much run support in 2008 and it shouldn't be any different in 2009. Lannan is 24-years-old and should continue to get better after a respectable first full season in the majors.
It would also help if former No. 1 draft pick Ross Detwiler made the team via a strong spring training.

To be honest I never saw what scouts saw in Detwiler that made their jaws drop. I watched the guy pitched three times when Missouri State played Southern Illinois years ago and didn't think he'd amount to anything more than a back of the rotation innings eater.

But the pressure is on Detwiler to carry the load because the Nationals "Plaxico Burress'd" themselves in the 2008 draft by running out of time to sign super-stud pitcher Aaron Crow out of Missouri. Crow will now play independent league baseball to prep for the 2009 draft. Frankly, this seems dumb for both parties.

The offense isn't a pretty sight either aside from the potential the outfield has to shine.

The middle infield, second baseman Willie Harris and Christian Guzman, maxed our in terms of career years and I wouldn't expect them to improve anymore on what they already did. That being said, if they can duplicate their 2008 numbers it will go a long way for this relatively punchless offense.

Nick Johnson is a borderline major leaguer at this point after hitting .220 at first base while former five-star third base prospect Ryan Zimmerman struggled the majority of the season but finished with a respectable .283 average coupled with 14 home runs and 54 RBIs but Washington was expecting him to be a 30-100 guy for years to come. Zimmerman is only 24-years-old so there's no reason to think he won't improve this season unless there's a lingering injury.

The outfield is probably the most interesting part of this team. The Nationals have two enigmas in Lastings Milledge and Elijah Dukes patrolling center and right field and if they continue to build on the progress they've made last season, the outfield could be one of the strongest in the division with the new addition of Josh Willingham.

If nothing else, Washington should hope for continued improvement from Milledge, Dukes and Zimmerman in hopes that they can eventually settle into a dominant 3-4-5 punch in the middle of the order. But until then, it doesn't make any sense to start spending money wildly.

Glaus to miss three months

St. Louis Cardinals third baseman Troy Glaus is expected to miss the next three months after getting arthroscopic surgery on his right shoulder.

This will cause Glaus to miss opening day, which begs the question: Why the hell did he wait until the middle of January to get surgery?

Glaus' backup is unclear at this point, but it's expected to be a four horse race at this point between Brett Wallace, David Freese, Brendan Ryan and Joe Mather.

First off, if Brendan Ryan is an opening day starter for the Cardinals, I'm going to blow a fuse. Last season, he hit .244 in 197 at-bats with 30 runs, 10 rbis and ZERO home runs. That's unacceptable for a starting MLB third baseman.

I'm not real high on the Mather bandwagon as well. In 133 at-bats last season, he hit .241 with eight home runs and 18 rbis, but did that while playing in the outfield. Would he be a defensive reliability at third base? His numbers a slightly better than Ryan's, but still not starting quality.

David Freese is a bit more intreaguing. The 26-year-old, who came to St. Louis from San Diego in the Jim Edmonds deal, hit .306 with 26 home runs and 91 rbis in 464 at-bats last season in Triple-A Memphis. I think Freese will be a very good MLB third basemen, but he's not quite my pick.

That brings me to Brett Wallace. The 2008 first round draft pick of the Cardinals hit a combined .337 between Class A and Double-A with eight home runs and 36 rbis in 202 at-bats. While his defense can be suspect, this is going to be just the 22-year-old's third year playing third base, Wallace is the Cardinals third baseman of the future and they need to get him some MLB experience at the position since this is the last year of Glaus' contract.

Reason #5847 why the Cubs haven't won a World Series in a billion years

Poor player management by the front office.

Explain to me how the Chicago Cubs can justify shelling out $30 million for an oft-injured right fielder who thrived last season only because he spent of the majority of the season as a designated hitter. Then explain to me how you can continue the hunt for Jake Peavy who will cost you $63 million over the next four years and then not be able to re-sign backup catcher Henry Blanco.

No, Blanco won't make $60 million, $30 million or even $3 million. Hell he won't even make $1 million.

Hank White, the mentor of All-Star catcher Geovany Soto, will make $750,000 next season playing for the San Diego Padres.

Being a Cubs fan is like being married to the girl who burns a frozen dinner. You wonder why you even are together in the first place.

Daily Dosage: Confessions

I want Marissa Miller to be the mother to my children.

There, I said it. Now I can get back to business.

There's nothing like sleeping in after driving to and from Terre Haute, Ind., which I felt was very reminiscent of Indianapolis ... and not in a good way.

I'm glad SIU was able to walk away with a victory because road trips that end with losses truly aren't fun for anyone involved ... except the home team ... which brings me to poor Indiana State.

Nice building. Nice people. I really wish they were better because the Hulman Center is too nice of an arena to host a team that's 4-15.

That's it, here's the rest of your Dosage.

Saluki 'D' brings down Sycamores. A solid defensive effort reminiscent of the good ol' days of SIU basketball helped spring the team to a 58-47 win against Indiana State. The Salukis shot 52.8 percent from the field, but turned the ball over 22 times. It's as simple as this: cut down on the turnovers and you'll score more points.

Southern's guards (Dillard, Hare, Mullins, Clemmons, Bocot) combined to score 48 of the team's 58 points. Now that, my friends, is backcourt production. [Daily Egyptian]

Quality Linkage:

• Bloggers (myself included) beware. Calling out big brother in your blog isn't a good idea. Bye, Kyle Whelliston. [The Big Lead]
• So you're saying there's a chance? Gisele isn't engaged yet! [BH: Inside Track]
• Jay Mariotti is not fond of the Sun-Times. [Real Clear Sports]
• I'm sure Vinsanthe Schiancoe got the invite for this Vikings Party. [Deadspin]
• Top 10 wreslters of all time. [Sun Sentinel]
• If Stanford's cutting back, what about the rest of the athletic depts. [The Sports Economist]
  

So, Lovie, how close are the Bears?

The Arizona Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl.

It is still hard to type on my computer without feeling as if I am making a mistake.

But it's true, and it got me to thinking how close are the Chicago Bears to another Super Bowl appearance.

Upon further review, not close at all.

Kurt Warner is out of Kyle Orton's lead, and that's almost sad to say because Warner was a washed-up grocery bagger before the St. Louis Rams picked him up off the scrap heap.

Ater leading the Rams to a Super Bowl title he became washed up again before finding the second fountain of youth in Arizona. And now he is a borderline NFL Hall of Famer.

The only thing I trust Orton to find in out west is a poppin' bar with cute co-eds on college night.

The Cards have two No. 1 wide receivers in Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. The Bears have none. In fact, they're saddled with a team full of No. 3 receivers at best. Devin Hester is a project who happens to have excellent speed and adequate hands.

But to be honest, who wants to throw a clutch pass to adequate hands? Not any quarterback I know.

Arizona's potent offense ranked fourth in the NFL. It averaged 365.8 yards per game en route to scoring an average of 26.7 points per game. Chicago ranked seventh ... from the bottom.

You can't win if you don't score, and the Bears are having as much luck scoring as a young Steve Urkel. There isn't enough Old Spice Swagger in the world to save the most offensive offense in football.

Again, how close are the Bears?

At this point, it is almost immesurable.

Adam Dunn's price is droppin' like it's hot

Outfielder Adam Dunn picked the wrong year to be a free agent.

The slugging, left-handed power stick will hit you 40 home runs, drive in 100 runs and get on base about 40 percent of the time. Yet, he is still on the open market ... probably because he also strikes out a ton and is a defensive liability in the outfield.

But it is Jan. 21 and after coming into this offseason looking for a long-term high-paying contract, he is likely at home sitting by a phone hoping that one of those calls is a major league general manager instead of someone asking about how he feels about his internet service.

I wonder if he is left out in the cold that the Chicago Cubs could find a place for him on their roster.

Defense be damned.

Stick him in right and Milton Bradley in center and hope they can outhit their fielding inefficiencies.

Imagine this lineup:

1. Soriano
2. Theriot
3. Bradley
4. Ramirez
5. Dunn
6. Lee
7. Soto
8. Miles/Fontenot

That's the sickest lineup one-thru-eight in the National League.

Heck, if you want to get really creative you can try to find another home for Derrek Lee or Alfonso Soriano. Or you could just be down right cruel and tell Kosuke Fukudome his visa expired.

Somehow. Someway. The Cubs should find a way to get the Big Donkey in blue pinstripes.

Daily Dosage: Back to business

Didn't Mariah Carey look absolutely stunning last night?

Wait. Doesn't she look that good all the damn time? Yeah, that's what I thought.

One day I will need to ask Nick Cannon how he was able to land Christina Milian, Vanessa Minillo and Mariah Carey in the same lifetime.

Unreal.

Call this canned Dosage because I'll drop some posts on you throughout the day as I prepare for a trip to Terre Haute, Ind., tonight.

Salukis against the State(s). The SIU men's basketball team will take on a pair of ISUs as the Salukis travel to Indiana State and Illinois State. The road trip starts in Terre Haute where SIU was upset last season when Marico Stinson hit a game-winning 3-pointer in overtime.

Good news: Stinson is no longer with the team.

More good news: the Salukis seem to be coming together at the right time. Let's see how this one works out.

SIU hoops hopes to continue streak at Indiana State; Lowery: We're doing it the right way [Daily Egyptian]

Quality Linkage:

• The Sports Lounge presents DE Pulse Editor Luke McCormick and yours truly dishing on how President Barack Obama can improve the sporting world. [DE Sports]
• Well, BJ Mullens got half of that trash talk thing done right. [The Big Lead]
• Video Game SportsCenter. [College Humor]
• The HighLife goes brief with its commercials. [Awful Announcing]
• The Boston Red Sox's new acquisition: PapelBonds! [Deadspin]