Because apparently, nothing turns a girl on like a .251/.308/.418/.726 line. Maybe it's the flat-bill cap.
And every time I feel embarrassed to be a Cubs fan, I should turn to this video and remind myself that things could be much, much worse. If you watch this video with the volume on it means you are doing a terrible disservice to your ears. Even Hellen Keller doesn't mind being deaf for this one.